Breaking up is hard to do

Julia’s current daycare is lacking in the area of getting Julia to drink. Her current teacher isn’t the best, and she’s not very accommodating to Julia’s drinking issues. Typically Julia eats solid foods okay at daycare. Not phenomenal, but good enough that she blends in with the other kids. Despite us preparing her bottle and sippy cup ahead of time, sometimes she only drinks water all day. When I ask, the teacher says she forgot to give her the sippy cup, or Julia refused the sippy cup, or it was hot, and they gave all the kids water, or she went on break during the meal & she doesn’t know what happened. Every day I repeat myself, “Please give Julia the sippy cup I provided at all meals, and please try to give her a bottle around 10am and 2pm.” And when I pick her up, I’m usually saddened to see an ounce or two out of the bottle and a tiny bit out of the cup. Or none of it touched. That’s when I get really angry.

I have found a place that I like that has an opening in September and has dealt with feeding issues before & would still feed Julia a bottle. YAY! Both S and I like it. And, as a bonus, they have a real “curriculum.” I say “curriculum” because it’s toddlers, after all. It’s not like I’m expecting her to recite War and Peace just yet.

We have to decide within the next 2 weeks what we’re going to do. Honestly, it’s mind-numbing. I can’t figure out what to do. When I get this conflicted, I usually say to go with my gut. But my gut doesn’t know what to do either.

Point 1: Julia doesn’t transition well. Moving her would throw her for a loop. If she stays in the current daycare, she wouldn’t go through that.

Point 2: New Daycare is better versed at feeding (or so the center director says). I know that Julia will only do want she willingly wants to do. I do know that she likes water a heckuva lot more than her bottle or sippy cup, so she will almost always pick that over what I brought her to drink. I do think that New Daycare will be more likely to follow my instructions. And my instructions aren’t terribly complicated – give her the sippy cup at meals, and offer her a bottle at 2 approximate times. I think if Current Daycare followed my instructions, Julia would eat the same amount at either New or Current Daycare.

Point 3: New Daycare has a better “curriculum.” Current Daycare has a set schedule throughout the day: outside play 2 times, story time, circle time (whatever that is), art time, free play, nap, meals, snacks. But there really isn’t a “curriculum.” Then I wonder if a “curriculum” for 1 year olds was generated by New Daycare to suck up to parents. Dontcha love how my cynical mind works?

Point 4: Most of the caregivers and other kids at Current Daycare really do like Julia. The morning infant teachers were wonderful. Even Courtney (the afternoon infant teacher) and Julia have a passable relationship now. The older girls come by and dote on Julia. I feel like most people have a good understanding of Julia – except for her current teacher. But maybe I haven’t given them enough time to bond. They’re starting their 3rd month together.

Point 5: Julia would transition out of her current room at 18-19 months. That’s 4-5 more months. She does like the next teacher up a lot more. I love when her current teacher team teachers with that teacher since it seems like the other teacher gives Jessica some tips on how to handle Julia.

I am seriously conflicted. So is S. I would be heartbroken to withdraw her. Most of the people there really do care about her. When she has a big doctor appointment, numerous people ask me how it went. When she had a good food day in the infant room, it was big news throughout the whole daycare, “Julia ate a whole jar of food!!!!” The older kids greet her in the hall. Then there’s the 8-year old teaching assistant who lugs Julia around.

I guess that brings me to why I liked the current daycare. While they are licensed and are essentially a child care “center,” you get the feeling that it’s more like a home setting. They aren’t unduly rigid about most things, except for the ratios and health standards. Those are the things I want them to be rigid about. Other things don’t concern me as much as long as Julia is well taken care of (i.e., happy and belly full and not afflicted by some contagious daycare plague).

S has already talked with the center director. That was when he was told that Julia was the most difficult baby – to – toddler transition in the past several years. At the time, the director said they would continue to give her bottles.

I’m so not good at this. Do we have another “talk” with the center director? (If so, I vote that S has it because he’s the far more stable of the two of us). I was thinking maybe just outright saying that we know Julia’s feeding is challenging, and we can go to a different daycare if they would like. Leave it up to them. Of course, I’d be heartbroken if they think Julia would be a better fit elsewhere, but at least it gives them the option. If we decide to change daycares, should we state our reason to Current Daycare, or should we just give proper notification?
We need to decide by August 14. That gives us 2 weeks notice at Current Daycare and is within the New Daycare’s window of enrollment. The in-laws are here this week, so that only leaves next week at the Current Daycare to decide.

I thought writing this would give me some enlightenment. I do seem to defend Current Daycare more than I would have thought. I have to be careful that it’s not my preference for no change that is fueling it.

Open to any thoughts.