Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Writer's Block

On my other blog they do daily questions that you can choose to answer. I never seem to have enough time to answer them, but I thought I'd take a stab at a few of them tonight to celebrate June being over!!

---> How would you get rid of a dead body?

I'd wrap it in a super thick blanket, drag it to my car, drive out to the woods, and dump it. I think I've been reading too much Ann Rule because I'm assuming the dead body came from of a not-so-natural incident.

---> What's your best Date Night experience? Was it where you went, the company, or what you did that made it such a good memory?

I haven't had too many official dates. I've had far too many spend the evening with a guy friend playing Nintendo, walking to Taco Bell & then watching MTV. I don't think those are classified as dates. So I'd have to say my official first date was my best by default. We went to see Forrest Gump, he held my hand during the movie, and then he asked me to Homecoming when he dropped me off. It was probably the best date for the mere fact that it was an actual date since he called a week prior to set it up, had a plan, and that sort of thing.

---> Have you ever made a fool of yourself after drinking too much? What did you do that was so embarrassing? Did anything major happen as a result?

Not really. I learned early on not to get drunk. I was the type who would always be holding alcohol but never drank it. Too many bad things can happen being 15-17 years old while being drunk and being around drunk twentysomethings. Therefore, my policy was sobriety was a good thing, as was lucidity. Now I may drink a glass of wine or two around girlfriends, but that's it.

---> What type of regular, weird, random, or crazy attributes you find attractive for dudes or girls??? Is it a must have or they are not attractive?

I don't like coffee drinkers. I do not find coffee breath attractive, and there's something about someone that needs coffee first thing in the morning that turns me off. Other than that, I like smart, dark-haired, light eyes, and non hairy dudes. :)

---> Do you have any hidden tattoos? Are there any that only a lucky few get to see? How do you feel about tattoos on other people?

My philosophy on tattoos is that if I had something I was really passionate about, I could see myself getting one. But I don't think I'm that passionate about anything. As I sit here, I can't think of any type of tattoo that I'd get. Still thinking...

---> Do you have any secrets that you haven't even told your best friend? If so, do you think you ever will? Does it burden you?

I have a lot of secrets that no one will ever know, and I don't think I ever will tell them, and it doesn't burden me at all. Am I bad? They aren't anything huge though.

---> Do you have any weird hang-ups about germs? Would you sit on the toilet at a public restroom?

Yes, I am a germophobe. No, I will not sit on a public toilet. I shudder just thinking about it. I avoid public bathrooms at all costs.

---> Who are your celebrity crushes?

My main celebrity crush is Will Smith. He's smart (admitted to MIT), tall/dark/handsome, funny, is there anything he can't do?

I also like LL Cool J; his voice is so smooth. Although he's sooooo large that it's a bit intimidating.

Eddie Cibrian is also very hot. His ethics = not so good, but he's quite good-looking.

Josh Hartnett. He's the brooding English major type. I really like that type, the type that won't shave for days because he's thinking philosophical, deep things. This type tends to have alcohol issues and depression issues. That makes a long-term relationship rather challenging.

---> Backyard games, summer camp, trips to the pool… what's your favorite childhood memory of summer?

Every summer I'd go visit for my dad & grandparents for a few weeks. I loved being a kid - riding my bike, reading, playing board games, eating way too many popsicles and pudding pops, going to the bar and playing video poker (my husband always laughs at that one, but my dad spent a lot of time at the bar).

As a devilish teenager, I loved sneaking out on summer nights and meeting boys. :)

---> Do you prefer to live in an urban or rural environment? Why?

I like the suburban life. It's a good compromise between the two. Urban is too noisy, rural is too quiet. I like where I live now because only a few houses down there's an entrance to the state park, and it's so quiet there.

---> What does family mean to you?

Family to me doesn't just mean those genetically or maritally related to you. Maybe it's coming from a small family, but I like to think most of my friends are family. And actually I think it's more of an honor for someone to choose to make you family.

---> What is your fondest childhood memory of your father or grandfather?

Father: taking me to Kennywood (amusement park) and riding all the rides with me & then eating cheese fries.

Grandfather: I am such my grandfather. He was quite the curmudgeon and constantly grumbled about everything (just like me!), had horrible taste in food (me!), had horrible taste in TV (Mama's family anyone? ME!). But he would do very kind gestures. So probably the favorite memory would be him carrying my bedridden grandmother to the car and taking her for a nightly drive, then coming home and eating a lard sandwich while watching Mama's Family. He was a simple man who hated frills and waste.

---> What's your idea of the perfect weekend? Do you generally prefer unstructured time or a busy social calendar?

Unstructured all the way. I hate packed weekends.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

No time for story arcs

Sure enough, after reading several young adult books for the past few days, I want to write a book. I have always wanted to be a writer. It's likely a natural career desire of those who like to read. Now I have all these story ideas flitting around my head, and I should be dedicating time to yardwork or painting or something more productive than plotting story arcs.

I'm no writer. I'm a math girl. I always have been. I have never had the gift of gab or story arcs, but here I am trying to pen the Great Young Adult novel. That would be an awesome pursuit once I was retired, but when I have a very full life, it's kind of an odd fantasy.

I know I have something I want to rant about, but I can't remember so I'll make this a short one for tonight.

So I wanted to be a Bad Girl

For the vast majority of my life, I’ve been a Good Girl. What’s a Good Girl, you ask? A Good Girl always does her homework, always has a contingency plan, gets good grades, completes her “to do” list, has a great work ethic, etc. She’s the one you call when you get into a jam. She’s the one you never worry about because she never seems to need or want help.

I was always self-reliant. I learned way early on that I could never, ever rely on my father. After all, he was the kind of guy that would drop me off at the library, go to the bar, and then get so drunk that he would forget that I was waiting in front of the library for him to pick me up three hours later. My mom was more physically present but often so detached in her own world that at a young age I learned to make my own food, wash my own clothes, remind myself to do my homework, and all that other stuff that parents usually have to nag their kids about.

One of the examples is that when I was 8 years old, my mom sent me to visit my dad & grandparents for a few weeks during the summer. This was the mid-80’s when airports and airlines functioned very differently than they do now. The airlines were supposed to keep track of me since I was 8 years old and flying without an adult, but they didn’t seem to notice my whereabouts. After all, I was probably seated next to some random adult, I didn’t make any noise, and I seemed to know all of the procedures, so I stayed under the radar. The part of the trip that made me nervous was that I had to change planes in Chicago O’Hare. I had only 40-ish minutes for my layover. When I was flipping through the airplane magazine, I saw that all of the major airports were featured with their terminal layouts. So I looked at my ticket to see what gate we were leaving from in O’Hare, and then I looked at the O’Hare map, and I figured out the route I had to take once they told us the gate we were arriving at over the loudspeaker. When we landed, I just kept repeating the route I had to take to myself and of course found the gate in time. Even that young, I realized that it’s easier to figure out this type of stuff by myself rather than cry to some ticket agent about not knowing where I needed to go. In subsequent trips to see my father unattended in later years, the flight attendants never forgot my flying alone status. They watched me like hawks and wouldn’t leave me unattended at all, and they made me ride those embarrassing cars (the ones that honk and usually carry handicapped people) through the airport. I missed my freedom of my first trip flying unattended when I got forgotten by the flight attendants.

Growing up I was very self-reliant and capable. I liked school and was good at it (except for PE, oh how I hated PE). My first job was at Merrill Lynch. I started college early. I was picked to be on a city commission and became the chairperson. While insecure in social situations, I had a quiet confidence that came from setting my mind on something, working for it, and achieving it.

A good friend in college told me (during a fight) that everything came easy to me, and I didn’t have to work for anything. I suppose it’s basically akin to being told that you’re a complete spoiled brat. I don’t think I am, but I can see the point that if school comes easy to someone, then it’s easy to use that to get ahead in other ways. For example, taking a transcript of all A’s when you apply for a job makes it easier to get a job.

Around the age of 15, I was tired of being a Good Girl. Good Girls aren’t exciting or fun. Good Girls don’t get asked out for their academic prowess. Good Girls simply fade into the walls and are put into reserve and only used when they’re needed, i.e., as study buddies before big tests or listening to your problems at 1am when your other friends are asleep or too busy with their own problems. I was tired of being the perennial Good Girl. I wanted to be a Bad Girl. I wanted to be the type of girl who would hang out with unsavory people, sneak out late at night, do stupid things (i.e., “live a little”), and I wanted to try to shed at least some of the adjectives that you would use to describe a Honda (reliable, always working at 100%, etc.).

Of course, I couldn’t become a Bad Girl all at once. I had my Good Girl commitments that I couldn’t shed in pursuit of being a Bad Girl. Am I supposed to get a D average just to prove that I’m a Bad Girl? Nah, I couldn’t do that. That would ruin my chances of graduating magna cum laude. So I became a part-time Bad Girl. Like a Bad Girl on call from the hours of 4pm – 5pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 9pm – 12am on Wednesdays, and 8pm – 1am on Saturdays, or something like that.

As for unsavory people, I quickly learned that those who had D averages were smart – smart in a different, completely interesting sort of way. They taught me so much. I learned that their circumstances and lives were very different from mine but at the same time very similar. Some of them had very unreliable and detached parents too, and I wondered why I was on the 85% Good Girl/15% Bad Girl path while they were on the 15% Good Girl/85% Bad Girl path with similar sets of circumstances. I realized that when I went into situations knowing that I would end up likely doing stupid things, I set up parameters with myself about how “stupid” I could be. My feet were always firmly in Good Girl territory although at the time I thought I was quite the Bad Girl.

As an adult, I’m back to almost entirely Good Girl. I look fondly back at my Bad Girl moments all the time. I was asserting my independence back then in such a small but almost necessary way. Had I not (unsuccessfully) tried to become a Bad Girl, then I wouldn’t be who I am today. It’s amazing how much you can learn from being a Bad Girl for 15% of the time for 2 years versus being a Good Girl almost entirely for 30ish years. The summation of the Good Girl lesson isn’t very radical. It’s basically the Protestant work ethic: work hard and you will reap the rewards. The Bad Girl lessons, on the other hand, are quite varied and not as socially acceptable to cross stitch on a couch pillow. They are lessons such as:

“Date a bad boy, but never marry one.”
“Never wear white shoes while being chased by the police.”
“Certain herbs that you’re holding for someone else + leather purse + hot day = a stench you can never get rid of.”
“The best hiding spot when you live with your single mother is the attic.”

Some days I am so ready to cross stitch one of those witticisms on a couch pillow.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Staying on the wagon hopefully

Well, six people will be leaving the house soon. It was a good visit overall. It's always sad to see people leave because you don't know when you will see them next and on what terms you will see them next.

I think there were about 1,500 June pictures taken. I've got to upload pictures of their visit to Facebook. Right now the prospect of going through them all is a little daunting.

Now that the house is starting to empty, I've really got to focus on healthy eating. Last year I had food allergy testing done because of my neverending list of symptoms, and it turned out that I was basically allergic to everything. For a few weeks, I cut out all of the offending foods, and I really did feel better. The problem is that I can't eat anything if I stick to it, and that truly sucks.

Here are some of the results. The green means that I can eat as much as I want, the yellow means to eat it 1-2 times a week, and the red means once a month or less. This basically tells me I can't eat any dairy, and I can eat chicken and lamb.

Then there are the grains and legumes. I suppose the best part is that I can eat as much corn and corn products as I want. As for gluten, must. stay. away.

I had a few other high ones, but the dairy/gluten/nuts were the big categories. Makes me want to eat a hot fudge sundae topped with peanuts and a side of warm bread just to irritate my digestive system.

So, for the zillionth time, I'm going to try to stay on the wagon. It's got to be one of the hardest things in the world, and I have no willpower. But it's worth it to feel better, right?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Comment ... or Else

I subscribe to many blogs, and there's quite a range to my subscription list. Various things (and people) interest me, and I'm always looking to widen my range even more.

People have various philosophies on blog commenting. There are quite a number of people out there who have lots and lots of blog readers who never comment (like me). And for some reason this irritates them. They seem to think everyone should comment all the time. Perhaps they're looking for a long dialogue on every blog entry or something. I dunno. But it seems like they've lately all come out and posted things like: "I know there are a lot of people who NEVER comment. Why won't you come out of lurking and comment? Why? Don't you like me? Obviously you like me if you read my blog, so why don't you COMMENT? Please comment before I come out there into the ether and make you comment!"

I feel like they're talking to me. They want me to type some witticism just so they can see a comment. So what do I do? I DON'T COMMENT even with the whole ether threat. Why? Oh yeah, in the threat they make in the above paragraph, they try to justify their threat by saying they need to know who I am so that they can come to my blog and comment.


I don't need blog comments. (You can certainly comment, argue, debate, agree, tell me I'm stupid, whatever in the comment section.) My ego can handle having 0 comments to every post. Because I will keep posting regardless, and guess don't have to read what I write! It's a simple concept, don't you think? And I don't want someone to read my blog just because I commented on theirs.

I suppose the reason I blog versus why they (the blog comment police) blog is very different. I blog to keep the small shred of sanity I have. They blog to have some sort of internet socialization, which is very cool, but those are two entirely different purposes.

I only comment on blogs if I have something to say. I rarely have anything to say. If one of the blog comment police has a bad day, there are 20 people saying, "Chin up buttercup." So I should come in and comment: "Hang in there!"? We've been through the "hang in there" nonsense, haven't we? If I was a more serious blogger, I would hyperlink that to the blog post that goes with it, but I'm not a serious blogger -> so just trust me that I think that is a completely disingenuous saying.

Better (or worse) yet, if I write some stupid saying on one of these blog comment policemaen, what if that person reads my blog and says "hang in there" to me? I will be so confused if that person is just saying a disingenuous saying 1) because they don't really know me 2) they are just making a glib comment in blogland or 3) they are making a sort of inside joke knowing how much I hate it and trying to get me to laugh. See, I'd just be confused. It's just better if that person doesn't read my blog at all, and therefore I'll just stay lurking in anonymity.

Friday, June 25, 2010

10 Days Off

I have 10 days off in a row starting NOW! Yeah, the relatives are here, but I should be able to fit in at least a few things I want to do. Let's see, here are some things I want to spend time doing:

* Reading - I checked out 8 books from the library & more will be coming!
* Petitioning the city about our property tax assessment
* Learn more about my DSLR camera
* Blog more

It was a great start to the vacation because hubby resurrected 147 missing songs from my old, decrepit laptop that is in the retirement home. He initially moved my music back in October-ish when I got my new laptop. Then life got really busy (with buying the house, moving, dealing with Hwang crap, selling the old house, remodeling...need I say more?). About a month ago I took a look at my music and realized I was missing a lot of my music. I was ashamed that it took me from October to May to realize that I was missing several songs. This week hubby took a look at the old computer, and we realized that 147 songs weren't ever transferred over. 147! It's not like I have a zillion songs in my library. I'm actually quite embarrassed how few songs I have compared to most people, so not noticing 147 missing songs out of an embarrassingly small total number is really, really shameful. But, anyway, I'm just thrilled that they have been recovered, and I can now play even more awesomely bad music. :)

I'm really looking forward to blogging more in the next 10 days. Without blogging I'm sure I'd be in the nuthouse by now.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Upcoming Staycation and Weight Ponderings

One thing I love about my job is that we close for a week around July 4th. I still remember my first summer with this special treat back in 2001. I was going to maximize my time off by planning all of these personal goals. I was going to work out an hour a day, make homemade smoothies, cross stitch, read several books. In actuality, all of these were things I already did on a regular basis, but I was going to fit them all in such a compressed amount of time.

And what would happen every year? I got into this bad habit of staying awake until 4am putzing around the house, sleeping til noon, and if I was on a roll, the most productive thing I’d do is to have dinner ready before the husband came home. From noon – 4am, I would lay around the house either reading or cross stitching. Those were pretty much my standard activities from 6pm – 10pm on worknights, but doing it for 16 hours continuously for over a week in a row was an extra special treat.

Next week work is closed, and I get my 5 workdays off. Actually, it is 6 workdays off this year and 10 days off if you include weekends. The famdamily will still be here; 6 of the people will be here until next Tuesday, and the other two will be here during the entire time. Around this time I start to get excited about the prospect of having the time off, and I’m trying to come up with my list of “to do’s.” Because, after all, if there isn’t a list of to do items, I might just lay on the couch all day. Perhaps my challenge should be to be honest with myself and come up with to do items that can be accomplished while laying on the couch.

Well, two of the most needed items are to finish painting the 5 rooms that are yet to be painted and yardwork. Both require getting up though. Anything else? I suppose I’ll need to clean, but that is a non-couch activity unless you’re actually cleaning the couch. Doing taxes, which is a perfectly valid couch activity, aren’t needing to be done. Maybe upgrading the computer? How about going through pictures and editing them and uploading them for prints? That’s a valid couch activity.

Reading. I have plenty of reading on my list. It’s been so long since I’ve read. With the whole toddler + big move + work + remodeling the house, reading has really fallen by the wayside unfortunately. My goal for the latter half of 2010 is to definitely read more. Since I’ve been introduced to Goodreads, I’m definitely making that a priority. And always after I go on a reading spree, I get into a mood where I think I’m a writer, and then I write 50 pages of a story and then drop it when it becomes boring.

You may ask why we don't go on a vacation. For the record, if I don't say it enough, I do not like vacations, Sam I am. If I did not like going to San Diego for a few days, I'm certainly not liking the idea of going somewhere for a week. The logistics are awful, little sleep, it sucks to take the munchkin on a trip, it sucks to leave her behind, the whole thing just seems completely exhausting before we even leave. Last year we went to Olympia for a few days. It was okay. I don't need to do the 'getting away thang' again anytime soon.

I should want to put some effort into losing weight this summer. I have about 20-25 pounds to go, and then I would feel good about my weight. But, ya know, I like food. Considering all the crap I eat, I have a good metabolism. It’s sad when (many) people tell me that I should be at least 300 pounds considering how much I can eat. And it’s true, I should be. So I’ll be thankful for my metabolism. I don’t have the inclination to live on 1,200 calories a day, and I don’t have the inclination to work out 4 hours a day. So if I’m unwilling to do either of those things, then I have to accept the consequences of eating 2,500 – 3,000 calories a day and exercising 3-4 hours a week. Frankly, I am willing to be comfortable about where I am now because I don’t want to give up the food or exercise myself to the brink. I fit into cute jeans (although 2 sizes bigger than I would like). It would be nice to be 2 sizes smaller, but will I be happier? Nah, I’ll be even MORE cranky because I won’t be eating what I want to and constantly depriving myself. My husband will love me regardless. So will Miss J. As for health, yeah, it would be nice to not be considered overweight by the doctor charts. Perhaps I should just make my goal to be not overweight by the doctor charts. That means losing 5-10 pounds. Completely do-able, at least in theory, right?

I have 2 months and a few days before September. I can get to that goal by then, right? Well, at least in theory. It depends on how much I want it. That's the real question.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Is June over yet?

The whole famdamily descended on Thursday evening. It's Sunday evening. Therefore, 3 days done, 14 days to go.

Having such a big house does help. No one but the 3 of us is staying on the top level. It's nice to have our space up here. Everyone else is sleeping in the basement. Hey, it's habitable. The only difficult part is when everyone is on the main level & you would like to cook in peace, watch TV in peace, or heaven forbid - sleep in bed when everyone is making a racket underneath you.

For the most part, S's sister keeps her 4 kids under control. Still... 8 extra people in the house gets to be a bit much. This morning, for instance, the niece came upstairs at 8am and came into our bedroom (door was closed). I was on the computer, and she asked to use it. Ummm, no, you can't use it & get out of my room & knock if you ever want to come in. Of course I didn't say that, but it's definitely what I wanted to say.

The Jerry Springer family from up north came down for the day. So it was 4 extra people, including 2 kids who aren't reined in. I already knew this, but for the record: I do not want 7 kids. Or 6, 5, 4 or 3 kids. Slight chance I could live with 2 kids, but never more than that.

I'm so happy to be going to work for a week. Yay!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Home Sweet Home

I'm glad to be home. I really do not like traveling. I get cranky because I can't sleep well, then I get overtired, and then everything annoys the heck out of me. Okay, things always annoy the heck out of me, but I get even more irritable than usual.

The conference itself was fine. I probably should have registered for the other track, but I got a bit of new information. I just really wish I could have sat in a few of the other classes.

The hotel room sucked. It got a 4 star rating on Expedia. Maybe because it got a 4 star rating was why I got my hopes up. It was SMALL! As in our master bedroom (minus the closet and bathroom) is about 30 square feet bigger than the whole hotel room. It looked out to the Greyhound station, so you heard the rumble of the bus engines and the beep beep beep of the buses backing up all night. I'm not much of a TV watcher, so it took me til 2 days into the visit to realize that the TV didn't work. It was plugged in, but it wouldn't turn on if you pushed the power button on the TV or the remote. Then there was the noise issue. Ugh! Rambunctious 'intimate relations' on Sunday night from one side of the wall. Then last night the other side of the wall had a party. I finally got to sleep around midnight, but at 1am I was wakened by 'intimate relations' after the party. Not as rambunctious as Sunday night, but still... I have come to the conclusion that a lot of 'intimate relations' is to be had in hotel rooms.

Then there was the flights. Going down to Orange County was an awful flight. There were so many babies and little kids going to Disneyland. It was loud. Coming back there were less kids, but I was stuck next to a woman with her two kids. She was one of those that makes life so very difficult for the flight attendants. She made last minute reservations, so her and her two kids got middle seats not next to each other (9E, 11E, 13E). She boarded late, and they had 6 carryons among them so storing was a problem. The flight attendants had to find her space. Then she wanted the flight attendants to move people around so that she could sit with her youngest (who looked to be about 5 years old), but remember they had boarded late and everyone was already situated. The older one looked to be about 9-10 years old. She held up the plane from backing out between her bag situation and the seating arrangements. This woman had incredible ADD. She was constantly going into her bag, bringing out her laptop (7 times during the flight), putting back her laptop, bringing out her phone, digging out books, bring the tray down/then up on repeat. I was so relieved when she took her son to the bathroom, but they were the quickest bathroom users ever & they were back in a flash. The 5 year old was so LOUD. I felt bad once I learned that they were flying from San Diego to Seattle to Vancouver to Heathrow to Nice. She trying to keep two kids in line for that long of a trip has got to suck. Still, it was impossible to even take a short nap with the ruckus next door to me.

Anyway, I'm so very happy to be home. I'm very spoiled with my spacious house. I felt so very claustrophobic between the tiny hotel room, the absence of space on the airplane, and sitting in small rooms during the conference. I loved my walks to and from the conference because there was actual space around me.

Tomorrow the agenda is to catch up on sleep and clean before the relatives get here. On the bright side, June is more than halfway over!!!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

A blog from de phone

Hello from San Diego! I arrived in CA on Saturday and have had a really nice time. I stayed with my aunt and uncle for a day. I hadn't seen the house they had built a couple of years ago. It's really beautiful,
modeled after an Italian villa. Their church was having a spring carnival, and we spent most of Saturday there....from 3-9pm. That was a long time, especially when you don't know anyone and they kept introducing me to 60 year olds.

The next day I took 2 long walks. My aunt and uncle live in a very nice neighborhood, and there are lots of pretty houses to look at. We ate lunch and then my uncle drove me to see W and M. We had a fun time at the beach and had a gourmet meal. Got to the hotel, which has super tiny and non soundproof rooms. Every review had said it was nice bit the rooms were small. Yep I agree completely. But hey I'm saving $200 per night by staying here so it's all good.

Today was pretty good. I'm not here with anyone else from work, which is really nice. I don't feel tied down and can do what I want. I can more easily meet new people. The subject matter in the conference today was basic. Should have probably signed up for the advanced class instead. Hopefully tomorrow will be more challenging.

After the conference today, I walked back to the hotel, showered, changed, and went out. It's fun to walk the city by yourself. I went through the mall, walked through the gaslamp district, got a bite to eat, walked some more. I think I did 4 miles of actual walking. Then I hit the gym and worked out for an hour. Don't gasp too hard, I can work out. I like to work out even. I just don't like to work out in front of people. The hotel gym is sorely underadvertised. There's a picture on the website but no discussion of it. It's not listed in the hotel book or the elevator. So it's not surprising that no one was in the gym. It was peaceful being all alone.

Then I go back to my room. Since my neighbors were so noisy having intimate relations the previous night, I hadn't gotten much sleep. Fall asleep at 9ish. At 9:30 I got woken up by the room shaking. I thought it was the noisy neighbors again. Nope, turns out to be an earthquake!

So what does it take to get to sleep before midnight in this place?

The influx of relatives is now happening earlier. Ugh. 2am-ish on thur night/ fri morning. Since it's such a hideous time, we may be down to 8 people instead of 10. They had better be quiet when they get in because I've been very short on sleep (and patience).

My June has officiallly had too much excitement. And we're not quite 50% done yet. I'm ready for July, thank you very much.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Favorite Songs

I can't sleep. It's probably because I actually slept 8ish hours last night, so I sit here next to a comatose husband and am being all philosophical and existential. It's not good when I become philosophical and existential. I was never one who debated red shoes vs. black shoes in my head for hours, but sometimes I wish I did because then I wouldn't ever get to thinking about things I don't want to think about. If you understand any of that gibberish, then I give you many kudos.

In order to bring me out of my philosophical haze, here are a few of my favorite songs right now:

Pink "Most Girls": This has been one of my favorite songs for at least 5 years. If there's ever one song to define me, this one is it. "But I'm not every girl / And I don't need that world to validate me."

The Fray "You Found Me": Popular thought seems to be the song is about God. I'm not convinced it's about religion, per se. Great melody, great lyrics.

Michael Jackson "Smooth Criminal": Right after he died people started announcing what their favorite MJ song was. I have always enjoyed MJ, but you have to admit he wasn't the best lyricist in the world. As the King of Pop, I suppose you don't need to be a lyricist - you need to make pop. Which he did. After thoughtful analysis, I decided on "Smooth Criminal" being my favorite MJ song. There's something about the word 'crescendo' being in a song that put this song over the top for me. And it's really singable and danceable.

Pink "Sober": Hey, I like Pink. And I struggle with sobriety with Twinkies. :)

Off I go...

to a retirement conference in San Diego. I'll be around though and still be posting (although probably very much truncated). Still debating whether or not to bring my laptop or force myself to use the iPhone. My uncle might be a tad odd (or a conspiracy theorist) and not believe in laptops or wireless, which means I wouldn't be able to access wireless until the hotel on Sunday night. But in the hotel, you only get wireless in the lobby. And at midnight I don't want to be hanging out in the lobby. That's just weird.'s looking I'll just have my phone. Less to carry anyway.

This evening I was thinking about the conference with all the actuaries. And then I thought of the most awesome pick-up line to say to an actuary:

"How would you like to segment my yield curve?"

Ha ha ha ha! Right? Funny stuff, I should be on late night, right? :) I dare you to use it.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Twice in 2 days

Remember how excited I was yesterday about winning something? Well, today I won again! This time it was cash. WOOHOO!! Not a lot, mind you, just enough for a dinner at TGI Fridays. But still, I won something! I haven't held that much cash in a while. I'm one of those who never carries cash and only carries cards. Money is super icky - haven't you seen those studies about all the germies on it?

Not much too report tonight. I did squeeze in a short walk at 10pm. I'm such a voyeur. I love looking in houses when it's dark out. I never see anything interesting, but it's fun to see how people decorate or even just watching them watch tv. I hope I don't sound too creepy; it's not like I am a peeping Tomette or anything. I just look into houses as I walk by if the lights are on. Again, I've never found anything interesting. At all. People in suburbia evidently aren't that interesting at 10pm in their well-lit living rooms. Dang. Prudes, aren't they?

I need to pack for my trip. I need to pack for Miss J's trip to see her grandparents with her dad. Could that be all I have to do until I get back from my trip? I'm getting little flutters of nervousness. I don't like traveling. I don't like being gone from Miss J too long (even though I know she'll be just fine). I don't like being gone from my routine. I get skittish meeting new people at conference like settings. I've always been a wallflower, and it's hard to put yourself out there. This is about the time where I'm like, "Can I cancel the trip and just stay here?" It's so much...easier. I could never travel a lot for work. Some days my 15 minute commute to work is "too much." I think my BFF is my bed and pillow.

I won something!

I think I have the worst luck at winning prizes ever. I'm not talking about the ones you can win with perseverance; I'm talking about the ones you can win only with your number being drawn. Those I completely suck at winning. My number NEVER gets called. I have gone to numerous work parties with my husband, and his luck sucks about the same as mine because we never win ANYthing. His work usually gives good prizes too. When he worked for Mother Merrill, you could win trips and big screen TVs. At his job now, they give away $200-$300 prizes (and a substantial number of them), and we win nada. Even if there are 30 people in the room and 20 prizes, he never gets anything either.

So I was beyond thrilled when I actually WON something today. When I say what I won, you're going to scrunch up your nose and say, "Better you than me." Let's face it, it's not a spa day or a new wardrobe or even an AC adapter (which I sorely need because it is very lame to hold my failing one in with one hand while typing with the other hand). Amazon, hurry your butt up and deliver my new AC adapter.

Are you ready for what I won? What makes it even more exciting is that I put my name in the hat to win it. And no, it doesn't involve $5 million and Nigeria either. HA!

I won 3 Barney DVDs!!!! Do I hear excited applause? Ummm, no? Well, I wasn't expecting it anyway. ;) But I am thrilled because Barney DVDs are like $10 each, so that's like a $30 gift that I won for Miss J. She only has 1 Barney DVD right now, which she loves, so this is a way for her to get some more Barney variety (and her parents too).

I didn't even spill the beans to hubby. So he'll get to find out the most excellent news when he reads this.

And they even come in a special case.

So now I will be stalking the mailbox for my sorely needed AC adapter and Barney DVDs.

Monday, June 7, 2010

June is 23% over

I am such a math nerd that I am indeed counting down the percentage of June that's still to go. June is going to be soooo busy and tiring.

First we had the unexpected early drop-in of the in-laws. They stayed from June 1st - 5th. It wasn't too bad, but by day 4, the little annoyances are starting to build. We felt good that they spent more time with Miss J, so it wasn't too bad. Saturday was the wedding. Sunday was Julia's party. Cleaning, getting ready, blah blah blah. Julia seemed to have fun and even kissed a boy (twice). She really gets around for being 2!

Thank goodness the in-laws left to go babysit for 10 days. It's so nice to have our house back. It's quiet again. Then Saturday morning I'm leaving for the OC to see my aunt & uncle, then on Sunday going to San Diego to see Wendy & Mischa, and then a conference starts Sunday night - midday Wednesday.

I'm staying home next Thursday (the 17th). That will be a day to catch up on sleep, do laundry, and the final cleaning.

Then on the 18th EVERYONE comes to stay at our house. Parents-in-law, S's sister (family of 6) & 2 boys up north. Yep, that's 10 people staying with us if you can't add. They are all staying for 2 weeks. Kill me now. Seriously, kill me now. 10 people staying with you for 2 weeks is my own personal hell. I am so dreading this. And work is closed the second week they are here. So not only will I be completely sick of the noise, but I can't even escape to work. Not fair!

That studio apartment is looking really good right now.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Endless Summer Nights

I took a long walk tonight at twilight. It was such a nice night, low 60s & clear. It wasn't too cold or hot. Just me, myself & I on a little over an hour long walk as the sun said good night and the moon appeared. For me, it's really feels like the start of summer.

During my teen years, I lived only a few miles from where I live now. The housing development I live in now was being built at the time, so it's weird to walk by houses that I had been in when they were in the middle of being built. They look the same but different, both at the same time.

Tonight I found this really cool trail through our housing development. Part of it is wooded, part isn't. The sun had already set, and it was starting to get dark. But it was still warm-ish out. It just took me back to being a teenager and how much I loved summer nights. I've never been one for the heat of summer days, but oh how I love summer nights. A lot of my best memories involve summer nights. And some not so good memories too, but the mostly happy stuff definitely outweighs the negative.

Have I ever said that one thing I appreciated while growing up was my immense freedom? My mom was a head-in-the-sand person and really didn't keep track of me very well. For instance, I stayed home by myself since I was 8 years old. And we're not talking half an hour here or there. At 8 years old, I stayed home during the summer. Like 40 hours a week staying at home by myself.

So by the time I was 16 and got a car, my mom and I had worked out an unstated system. I basically didn't have a curfew, and I wasn't going to step over the line to make her come up with a curfew. So if I didn't ruffle feathers, then I could do what I wanted. I was usually home by 10pm if I actually went out, but most weekends I stayed home quite a bit. Most nights I'd read and play on the computer or watch stuff like 90210. I was a homebody then just like I am now. Occasionally I did go out, much more on summer nights than any other time. Most of the time I didn't do anything bad. I just went to the movies, walked the pathetic mall (which has become even more pathetic in the last 15 years) or hung out at a friend's house. The few girls I hung out with were about as exciting as I was. If I went out with a guy friend, I was usually much more conscientious about not rocking the boat and being home at a decent hour.

I remember the one night that I got home LATE. Like 1am kind of late. My mom had waited up and was reading. "I was starting to get worried. What were you up to?" She actually didn't even look all that worried.

So as not to rock the no curfew boat, I responded that I was hanging out at Kim's house and then we decided to see the last movie of the night and then we talked some afterward & I guess we just lost track of time. "Oh, okay. It's just kind of late." Whew, and I escape trouble and made a mental note to be in by 10pm-ish for the next month mentally.

What was funny was that had I told her the truth, I would be in all sorts of trouble. You learn so fast how to lie to your parents, don't you? There's no way I could literally say what I was up to.

"Kim, Leslie and I went driving along R u s t o n W a y looking for guys. We met some guys and went back to one guy's house. They gave us beer. We all sat around drinking. Kim had 2-3 beers and started to get loopy. Then she disappeared with the weird looking guy, and Leslie and I had to go find her in this big house. We finally find her. And then the guys want to play poker. After we divvy out all the chips, and then they decide they want to play strip poker. We start playing, and by then Kim's had like 6 beers. And then that's when we learned that it's better to take off your bra before your shirt. You could kind of say it was an educational sort of experience. And then Kim starts puking, which was really good because Leslie was about to lose her shirt in the strip poker game. And then Leslie and I decide that we should probably use the excuse of getting Kim home to get out of there. And then we go to Denny's to get Kim stabilized. And then we talk about the strange night with the guys we met as Kim holds her stomach and lays her head on the fake wood Denny's table. And then we try to sneak Kim back into her house without her parents finding out that she's drunk. And then it's like a "What About Bob" scenario when her dad starts talking to us and asking us all sorts of questions, but we think we passed the test and he wasn't too suspicious. And then I take Leslie home. And, well, here I am and that's how I spent the last 6 hours."

I'm not THAT stupid. I don't have a death wish. Therefore, lying to your parents about your summer night whereabouts is definitely the best policy. And I know that Julia will lie to me too. But I hope I won't be stupid enough to believe her very bland stories.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


My crazy sister-in-law threw the in-laws out, and they are driving here tonight. ETA: 1 flipping hour.

Guess the insanity will start earlier than I expected.

Please please please don't let me kill them in the next 6 weeks.

A lovely walk

I had a beautiful walk in the woods today at lunch. I love the woods on a gloomy day. Add in a gothic castle, and it would be absolutely perfect. And don't even think I like the gloomy woods due to the Twilight phenomenon. No way. I don't think I'm going to find Edward Cullen in the woods. Pppppleassssse. I do think in my past life I roamed the Scottish moors. That's the only reason I can think of that I enjoy roaming around the woods when it is 50 degrees and misty.

I love my lonely walks. Don't get me wrong, I do like walking with others occasionally. It's just nice to be alone with your thoughts and stopping to look at a pretty flower if you want.

I've got to make an eye appointment. I have some serious eye strain recently, which is causing more and more headaches.

And I've also got to make a dentist appointment for Julia. Eh, I don't see much reason to. I know what they are going to say. Brush her teeth as frequently as possible and take away that pacifier. So on the other hand, why should I take her if I already know what's going to happen? Because being told that in person will be even more lovely, and I'll get a free sample of floss and toothpaste. That's why!