Thursday, October 29, 2009

Getting ready for the 2009 letter

Today I actually wrote at work. While it may seem my job would include writing given the gigundo (technical word) piles of paper I produce, it really doesn't. I mainly use the same existing template and just update little stuff, like numbers and names. The last actual "thing" I wrote was for my Master's degree. Oh, I blog and e-mail of course, but I don't count that as real writing. Perhaps if I was a professional blogger, I'd consider blogging equivalent to writing. Since I'm not a professional blogger, I consider it a recreational hobby. And a way to get out angst.

Other than school, the extent of my writing lately has been limited to writing Christmas letters. Oh Christmas letters! I would never, ever laugh when reading a 8 page, single-spaced Christmas letters where a person practically admits they have been stalking someone who dumped her. She cannot figure out why he would dump her so she proceeds to say that she still calls him every week to find out why. The Christmas letter becomes this really long blog entry-ish sort of thing, and as entertaining as blogs are to read, please don't make a Christmas letter into some psycho blog entry. Even I of all people know that.

The rule for Christmas letters is to make them light and airy. You do not have to recite all 365 days of the past year. You do not need your Christmas letter recipients to band together and commit you upon receipt of their Christmas letter. That could lead to a very bad Christmas that you spend staring at a bare wall in a padded room.

Which is why I did NOT send out a Christmas letter last year. I was month 6 into colic with a child who wouldn't eat, stir crazy from maternity leave dealing with the aforementioned, and a bit sensitive that everyone but my husband was pressuring me into having another child right away.

My 2008 Christmas letter would have gone something like this:

"We had a beautiful baby girl in June. She's fortunately in good health. That's what the doctors say. Since she screams about 10 hours a day, I personally think something's wrong with her. She doesn't eat much at all, an ounce or two here and there, and I think that's contributing to the whole screaming issue. Everyone tells me it's this stupid thing called colic, which really has no definition and is used to describe fussy behavior in babies. Whatever. We should have named her Damien-a because most days she screams ALL DAY LONG til her nap from 2-4pm. Then she screams ALL EVENING LONG until S gets her to sleep at midnight. Then she screams ALL NIGHT LONG until one of us gets her to sleep at 4am. Why do people think having children is a blessing? Is "blessing" what we call piercing ear pain and sleep deprivation these days? Had I known this is what I was going to be bestowed with, I think I might have voluntarily sterilized myself. I am counting down the days until I go back to work and can hear myself think during the day. I have taken about 1,000 pictures of Damien-a, but there are only about 10 or so where she's not screaming. So I can't even occupy myself during non-screaming times with scrapbooking. I read Twilight, and I don't understand why everyone likes that book series. Have a merry Christmas and happy 2009!"

Yeah, see, it was best I didn't send anything. I would have ended up in Western State Hospital in that padded room, and frankly at that point I really wouldn't have minded.

If I do a 2009 letter, it will (thank goodness) be more optimistic than the 2008 gem.

Her Pinkness

Today was Think Pink day for breast cancer awareness. We were to wear our pink garb and eat cookies and engage in other assorted "pink" day activities. Of course, apathetic me was having a hard enough time remembering to wear a pink shirt. Then M gets all excited about the pink possibilities (including pink footies...way to lure me in, M!). So then I get to thinking and actually start getting excited about it.

It also helps that I just love the performer Pink. Except for the whole going back to a cheating spouse thing, but you could probably see the writing on the wall when SHE proposed to HIM. But I digress...

Therefore, last night I try to find a pink outfit and pink hair dye. For some reason, I was freaking obsessed to find pink footies (thanks again, M!). I finally did find some, but they were for GIRLS--an extra large, but still - it was the GIRLS department I found them in. I still bought them, as I did not have enough courage to try them on in the store. Went home, and they were possibly quite snug in the hips in boobs. Or most possibly snug. However, I must say, they could technically be zipped. I was bummed, though, that I couldn't wear them.

But Bethy does not disappoint. I set my alarm for 5am to get up earlier than normal, futz with my pink hair dye and assemble my pink outfit. I thought I did pretty good for my minimal investment, which was just the cost of pink hair dye. Pink hair, stole Julia's bows for the day, pink glitter on my face, lip gloss on my cheeks, pink shirt, pink pants, pink slippers.

My mind's already turning about next year's Think Pink day. It might involve a tacky 1980s hot pink prom dress, lots of taffetta, ruffles, matching shoes, AND pink hair.

Not that M and I are at ALL competitive!

I contemplated putting a picture up of My Pinkness, but ya know, I'll just leave it for Facebook.

Over and out, my sweets ~

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Feeling Kinda Crappy

Long time, no blog. I feel crappy. It's taking all of my energy to do the morning routine, get through work, come home and do the evening routine, Shred, and pass out.

I had sinus surgery back in February, and it was (in theory) to chisel out my sinuses so they actually drain. Somehow I got a goop backlog (my 2nd goop backlog since February...hmmm...great surgery, huh?), and the goop backlog has become infected. This I know because I keep hocking up neon yellow crap tinged with blood. YUM! Julia's got a variation of it too. So we've been doping her and me up with Tylenol before bed, and then we're off on our marathon sleepfest. Sometimes I win the sleepfest, and sometimes she wins. I won on Saturday night with my 13 hours of sleep, and she won last night. I think S is liking the two of us sleeping so much. He gets free time without rocking one or both of us in our grumpy, icky state.

I really need to wash our bedding, as in the quilt and feather comforter cover. I'm allergic to dust and feathers, both of which are on our bed. That would probably ebb the sneezing, and the sneezing contributes to the goop backlog. I should get rid of the feathers, but I don't wanna!

Picture retakes today. Of course with the horrible backdrop I'm not expecting much. Plus Julia has scratched her nose in several places from trying to wipe it. So she has bloody scratches, snot coming out of her nose, her hair is all over the place. But I have to follow the protocol if I want to get my money back.

Whining will end, hopefully the rest of the week will be rejuvenating. At least I hope so.

Friday, October 23, 2009

A Curious Person am I

Julia seems to be adapting to the new daycare room nicely. I think we're down to two big projects. #1 - Get her completely off the bottle (she's about 50/50 now) and #2 - Get her off the pacifier. I think getting her off the bottle is do-able by the time she turns 18 months. The pacifier? Geez, I think she's going to have it while she walks down the wedding aisle. She has definitely come along way since turning 12 months. I'm so proud of her!

In the infant room, there's a boy named Balin. I think he's about 9-10 months old. I've always been fascinated by him because he's so huge. He's one roly poly baby, so big that it's awkward for him to move. One of the workers told me it's funny how his mom is this short little thing and Dad is like 6'6".

I've seen Balin's mom a few times. She was holding him, and she can't be over 5'0". He's literally half her size.

Well, today there was a really tall guy picking him up when I was picking up Julia. Dad, right, since he was really tall. Well, there was this 25-ish year old woman with him. NOT Mom. She was taller. are Mom and Dad no longer together and he's with a new woman and picking up his son for the weekend. I wonder...

If I wasn't so bogged down trying to find all of Julia's stuff, I would have said something to new chick. She was kind of standing there nervously off to the side.

The things I wonder. Way too nosy - I mean inquisitive - for my own good.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


1. Day 4 of shredding complete. Surprisingly the soreness is starting to fade already. Shredding is much, much better than running. Have I said how much I dislike running?

2. Could be bad news tomorrow. Hope it's good news, but in the back of my mind I have some doubts. Still, trying to stay positive.

3. I *think* Julia may be 21 pounds. Not an official weight, but close enough. That means she has gained 1/2 a pound in 6 weeks. She's been on 100% whole milk for a while (3 weeks maybe?). She used to be on concentrated formula that was 30 calories per ounce. Whole milk is only about 18 calories per ounce. It may not seem like a huge difference, but that means she is roughly getting 150-200 calories less a day now from liquids, and she needs to be making up the difference in solids. Since she has gained a small amount, that means that likely she IS making up the difference!

4. Today was Day 1 for Julia in the upper toddler room. She got moved with her most favorite teacher Rosemary. And she ate all of her lunch in a slightly different setting with a few different kids, so hooray for adjusting so much more easily than her infant to toddler transition!

5. Pumpkin patch on Saturday!

6. I eat a lot. I ate a lot of tortilla spirals today. Hey, they had some protein!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Blog Award

Many thanks to Melissa for this blog award! Melissa is so motivating to me. She has lost oodles of weight in the past 6 months, looks terrific, works full-time, is on the school board, has 2 kids, and still finds time to exercise. And I'm just tired contemplating it all.

I want to thank the Academy and all of those who give me topics to rant about. :)

The rules are as follows:
Accept the award, post it on your blog, along with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Be sure to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

15 blogs? Wowsers, that's a lot of blogs. I'm going to hand out a few now and a few more later. Is that okay? I hope it is.

1. Scrapping in Circles - Scrapping and I go way back. We both kept our college campus secure and ended up meeting our respective husbands on the job. Two inter-office romances at the same time! Scrapping and her husband popped out 3 kids while we've only popped out 1 kid. Ha ha! I enjoy her blog because it's like a family scrapbook of their family activities. Yes, she's a mom of 3 and does the cute little things like making homemade birthday cakes and making handmade Halloween costumes. She even gets her husband to dress up! I have a thing or two or thirty to learn from her. It will be a cold day in you know where before I convince my husband to dress up in a costume!

2. Ms. Leigh Ann doesn't blog nearly enough anymore. She and I were both bestowed with lightweight babies who were a *tad* (a lot) cranky/colicky/finicky. Waylon grew out of it at about 3-4 months old, but Julia - well, she's a fighter who refused to kick colic until she was practically a year old, and some days I feel like it's still hanging around. Leigh Ann is a kick in the pants with her funny anecdotes, and she's always looking for a good buy (aren't we all?), and is a great weight loss buddy.

3. Meeko at The Ramblings of a Disgruntled Secretary - oh how I love his wit and, shall we say, disgruntledness toward stupidity. His tales of incompetent people, particularly ones who try (unsuccessfully) to operate the laminator, are hilarious. He's one of those blogwriters where I know I just have to get a snack before I sit down and begin reading. But I mustn't have a liquid refreshment, or I'll spit it out all over my laptop as I laugh out loud.

4. April at April Ingram Photography is one of my faves. She is an up-and-coming photographer in Georgia, who I wish lived a ton closer because I so want her to do my daughter's portraits. After seeing the school picture debacle, maybe she'll take pity on me and come take Julia's pictures. April is a wonderful photographer and a mommy of 3 (how do these mommies of 3 do it? I can barely take care of 1.). She also has a personal blog, which you can find with a bit of digging in her profile. I love her personal blog because she's so honest. She and her fine husband are renovating their new house, and I believe you can find that blog with just a little bit of digging as well. Her photography work is not to be missed, so that's why I'm linking to her main blog.

5. Kenz at All the Weigh. Kenz has had a huge amount of weight loss success, and I am so proud of how far she's come. Kenz is a wonderful writer and has a very pretty blog. She is a true gem! I can't wait for the celebration once she hits her goal.

6. Corrie is about to have her second baby and keeps us updated on Max's (Victoria's) latest adventures. I love that Victoria is nicknamed Max. Corrie also loves great bargains (don't we all??).

There are more that I read frequently, but I'm not sure how some others would feel about the attention on a family blog or a blog dealing with more private issues. But I reserve the right to add other recipients at any time! :)

Thanks again, Melissa! You made my day.

You may laugh now…adventures in school pictures

The concept of school pictures is actually helpful (in theory) to a parent. Taking your kid to professional pictures is an ordeal, involving travel & ensuring the picture outfit or outfits don't get stained & moods stay lighthearted & the subject has eaten enough and slept enough. Why not just let the school worry about it while you go about your day?

Because, folks, you might end up with this as your school picture memento:

Julia's first ever school picture.

OMG! I cannot believe I advocated to S that we should let Julia get school pictures taken. I advocated PAYING for this. What?! Lesson learned. While I'm a very, very amateur photographer, I could do better than this. Okay, a 5 year old could do better than this.

I thought they would do pictures with a nice boring blue background. Oooh, or that carpeted shelf thing for them to put their hands would be kind of cute. I could tolerate that. But...THIS???

1. The Bumbo from 1982. Really??? She is 16 months old and can stand by herself or sit by herself. Must you force her into a chair for 6 month olds? Could it at least be a neutral color?

2. The atrocious backdrop. Blue camo???

3. The matching atrocious floor cloth. In what decade was this acceptable?

4. The fake plants…nuff said.

5. The bottoms of her shoes are showing.

6. Her terrified look. I'm sure they think it's an almost smile. I think she's about ready to scream at being around this hideous collection of props with a strange person taking her picture.

7. The least objectionable prop is the teddy bear. And she wants nothing to do with it, which makes it seem very awkward. Plus it is completely obstructing her.

I want my money back!!!! I even paid for the CD. I'm such a freaking idiot.

Laughing is allowed. Please don't try to tell me it's not that bad. Because, let's be honest, it's downright awful. Who in their right mind would pick that kind of backdrop???

And here is a picture we took this weekend. We're only amateur photographers, but I think we captured her essence a whole lot better than Herff Jones. Herff Jones sucks at photography.

Our amateur photo:

The last time I Shredded...

Julia was about 8 months old and crawling rather slowly. While I Shredded, if I saw her moving toward me, I had about 30 seconds to move out of the way. Now she's 16 months old and wants to do jumping jacks right next to me. Her jumping jacks look like the standard toddler dancing with some arm gesticulations. When I do push ups, she climbs on me as if I'm a horse. I already have to "push up" my own weight, I don't want to add 20+ pounds of her weight to my already tired arms.

Have I said that I like toddlerhood a whole lot better than infanthood? I think with our dear Miss J, she was freaking pissed off when she was born that she couldn't do anything. With every milestone where she could exert some control over her life, she became slightly more at peace with the world. For most kids, I think they are happy when they reach the 3-6 month milestones. But not Miss J. She became more content at roughly 13-14 months old. I think we've recently seen another big jump in her happiness due to being able to communicate more. She's not saying a whole lot. Actually I think she uses more sign language than words. The point is that she's able to communicate the major things, and that alleviates all of our frustration levels.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

People are irritating aka Why I didn't get my free underwear

I think I need to start tagging my rants about people. I know I can be irritating; it's a different sort of irritating.

At Costco the person in front of me was writing a check. If you must write a check in this day and age, can you please 1) carry a pen with you so that you don't have to borrow the checker's pen and 2) start filling out the check before you get the total due (at least the store name and date - and don't ask the checker the date) and 3) have your ID ready.

I've never worked in retail due to my inability to tolerate people and my patience level of an unmedicated person with ADD. Slow Check Lady would have set me off into a fit of sighs and eyerolling, and my butt would have been fired about 10 minutes into my stint at retail. Even though I haven't worked in retail, I know how a business *should* be run.

After Costco, I went to Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret to get my free stuff. The Limited owns both of these stores, and I presume I'm on some sort of mailing list because I got coupons for free stuff in the mail. Did you? I'm also a stockholder, but if the coupons had been in connection with that, it would have come to both S & I, and it only came addressed to me. So anyway, I get a free travel size item at B&BW and a free pair of underwear from Victoria's Secret. I got my free travel size item just fine. Then I go to VS. Select my free pair of underwear and get in line.

There is a young lady at the counter who is texting (dang, she can text fast. I can type fast on an actual computer, but my texting speed is about 2 words a minute. I do admire fast texters.) while the employee is ringing up her stuff. There is another person in line who has 2 little kids. There is another employee who is "helping" a guy who is ambling about the store.

The kiss of death in a line at the library is someone who wants to open a new library card. Particularly if there's only one librarian, you're so screwed. You're automatically standing there another 15 minutes. Well, the retail equivalent kiss of death is someone who wants the store credit card. Every time this comes up in front of me, I silently plead the person to decline. Screw the 15% off, decline decline decline.

What does Miss Texter say? Of course she says yes, yet she adds she's late for work already. (If you're late for work, doesn't it make sense to be on your way to work and not at Victoria's Secret to buy extremely expensive lingerie to impress your sorta boyfriend who's sorta seeing your best friend?) And the cashier is tickled pink because of course she gets a commission on every credit card opening. I may not have ever worked in retail, but I do know that.

At this point, the cashier looks around and contemplates asking the other employee who's "helping" the man to come ring up the rest of us. But she sees that the other employee is "busy" (it's debatable, as the guy is just ambling around...versus the two of us who are actually in line). Yes, I know I'm just getting my free pair of underwear, so I'm not technically "buying" anything. But I'm still a customer who is in check-out mode.

But no Miss Commission Seeking Employee is gathering Miss Texter's driver's license as Miss Texter continues texting away while snapping her gum. The employee gets her SSN.

Now I know you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover and all that, but 1) Miss Texter is already late for work, 2) Miss Texter looks very, very young 3) Miss Texter doesn't live at the address that's listed on her driver's license because she said it wasn't valid anymore. I could tell that Miss Texter's creditworthiness in the current day and age wasn't going to be very high.

Miss Commission Seeking Employee then has to call it in to her credit department. If I had eavesdropped, I probably would know. I had instead taken the opportunity to watch the guy ambling around staring at garter belts. I also was trying to do ESP with the other employee to get her to come help the other person waiting in line and me. Of course, the other commission-seeking employee was trying to sell Ambling Guy lingerie and couldn't be bothered to look at the line in front of the cash register.

While Miss Texter continues texting, Miss Commission Seeking Employee is on the phone with the credit department. She says Miss Texter's social security number VERY loudly, her address, all her other information. She's put on hold. I sigh. A lot. Seriously, this is not a way to run a business. Employees should keep tabs on that line, they have those stupid walkie talkie things, and Miss Commission Seeking Employee should have walkie talkied or merely called to the other employee to ring us up. As an employer, you should not want people to abandon their stuff because it takes forever and a year to get through the line.

As a stockholder in this company, I was completely disappointed in how the operations of this store was handled.

Credit decision! I could tell in Miss Commission Seeking Employee's expression. She got off the phone and told Miss Texter, "They couldn't make a decision right now. You'll get a letter in the mail in 7-10 days."

Oh yeah, I was right. DE-NIED! And so Miss Texter started rooting around in her wallet. She didn't have her money ready? It had only been 15 minutes she'd been standing there. If it was me, I would have kept looking back at the line and apologizing. But, no, she was completely unaffected by the world around her and her cell phone. When Miss Texter started pulling out dollar bills and coins, it hit my last nerve, and I dumped the free underwear and left the store.

So no new free Victoria's Secret underwear, to hubby's dismay.

Friday, October 16, 2009

30 Day Shred Challenge

Here's the details if you want to sign up!

Melissa has lost almost 50 pounds in approximately 6 months through Weight Watchers and exercise. She's upping the ante now with some Shredding. This is the exercise program of Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser TV show.

This running thing is not working out for me. I never thought I'd be able to run for 20 continuous minutes when I started. And now I have x 3. My love, or even like, of running has not hit me over the head yet. I'm more of an aerobics kind of girl, and I have done the Shred before so I know what I'm getting into.

I invite you all to sign up. The DVD is helpful, but it is also on Youtube. That's how I access it. The Challenge starts on Sunday and check out Melissa's blog for all the details and fine print.

My goals are: 1) get rid of some arm flab and 2) lose weight, of course!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Square Peg in a Round Hole

Most of the time I feel like I never fit in. I'm not one of those girly girls who wants to go to the spa all the time. I'm not one of those girls who talks to her girlfriends on the phone for hours. Most of my hobbies I enjoy doing by myself. I amortize things for fun. The sports-minded girls wouldn't like me because I don't like to exercise. The thin girls wouldn't like me because I will eat all of their food. I'm cynical, roll my eyes at stupidity, and don't wish to have more children than bedrooms in my house. I want to ask my daycare provider why she doesn't want to jump off a bridge after looking after 7 toddlers every day. While I enjoy work, I don't aspire to be a grand poobah of anything - way too much stress.

Large groups of women frighten me. The vast number of topics that come up where I have completely opposite views or opinions makes me feel like I'm even more of a misfit than I already know I am. Two topics are almost certain to come up: 1) How to con your husband into having more kids and 2) What a dolt your husband is.

1) Having kids is a lifetime commitment, people. If one of the two partners doesn't want kids, respect the viewpoint. The potential for resentment isn't worth it.

2) My husband isn't a dolt. And a bigger newsflash is that if he was a dolt, then I wouldn't have married him. I really don't understand complaining about your husband in large groups of women. After all, YOU picked him, right? It really just reflects on your lack of good judgment when you complain about him. When I'm in these groups of women, I feel like I have to complain about something. I volunteer that he chews loudly (sooo annoying). As annoying as it is, it never seems to top anyone's list of husband dolt-like behaviors.


I never have understood most women's love for getting flowers. I think the first time S gave me flowers, I threw them at him. Maybe it was after a fight. I think he was apologizing through flowers. What a stupid butt thing for women to expect from men! From my perspective, getting flowers is the LAMEST apology in the world. Any idiot can call up a flower shop within 5 minutes and get flowers sent to an address. Oh, don't forget that "I'm sorry" in someone else's handwriting.

A real apology is a letter or a verbal apology. Don't send me flowers and think all is better, buddy. S learned that really quickly, and I happy to say that I very rarely get flowers. Thanks the heavens because they are such a waste of money. It's literally throwing money away. If you're going to spend $50, could you at least send me some chocolate or a share of a mutual fund? The flower thing applies for V-Day, my birthday, and our anniversary too. Lame-o gift.

The whole flower thing eludes me. I do notice that men send women flowers at work. Perhaps that is because some women like other women to notice that THEY are special because they got flowers? I'm not sure.

See, this is why I'm a freak of nature who feels out of place around her own gender. S never bursts into tears randomly, leaving me to figure out why and console him. He never tells me, "Guess what _____ did to me today?" I never have to reassure him that his butt looks good in piece of clothing.

Women, I don't think I'll ever understand them. Same thing goes for men, but I think I will get a heckuva lot closer to figuring them out.

----------- rocks my world.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It's Cold in Here

Quiet, rainy, COLD night. We keep our house cool at 65 degrees to save energy/money during the winter. For some reason, that feels insanely cold to me right now as I lay here shivering under a blanket. Usually I have heatstroke when it's 72, so I find this unusual. Maybe because it was 80 just a few short days ago that the sudden drop to the 40s at night has thrown by body for a loop. Eh, my body will adjust soon enough, and then I'll be back to feeling steamy if it gets to 68 inside.

Ran tonight! I completed most of the run although I did a small amount of walking. My legs were burning when I started, and it never let up. It was a very short time that I walked and near the end, but I sincerely thought I was going to hurl and/or pass out. Running sucks.

The neighbors up one house and across the street had a U-Haul outside their house the past few days. It's weird because their garage looks like it has the usual stuff in it. Divorce??? Hmmmm...inquiring minds want to know what's going on. Time will tell.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Exercise and Food Update

I've got three 20-minute runs under my belt now. Honestly I still very much dislike running. I will never love running. You know those people who say they just don't feel right unless they're running regularly? That will never be me. A perfect day for me would never involve running.

I did set up my music for the run. It helps give me some motivation.

Warm-up / brisk walk: Steve Perry's "Foolish Heart" followed by Daughtry's "It's Not Over." I start running halfway through the second song. My first official running song is "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera*.

*In the 2000 Britney vs. Christina battle of the teen divas, I was always a Christina fan. Britney sounds completely synthesized and doesn't have talent anywhere close to Christina. Plus Christina's not a nutjob, but it would be at least 2006 before people came to that conclusion about Britney. Just my opinion.

I probably should have moved this song toward the end, about the time I feel like I'm gonna die. One of the lyrics is: "I'm a fighter. I'm not gonna stop." Perhaps if it was at the end, it might give me more motivation. Then it's LL Cool J's "Who Do You Love (Lounging)." I love me some LL. Then we go to Prince's "Raspberry Beret." Fun and whimsical. About this time I'm getting close to ready to die, and Timex Social Club's "Rumors" comes on. I love the song, but I should probably swap the positioning with Ms. I'm-More-Talented-Than-Britney-And-Haven't-Been-To-Rehab-And-Have-Tossed-Most-of-My-Bad-Girl-Image. To close the run down, Pink's "Sober" and then cooldown is Justin's "Summer Love."

Theoretically all I need to do is elongate my runs until I hit 30 minutes. I'm just ecstatic that I have come this far. Even back in junior high PE, we only HAD to run one mile at a time. I know 20 minutes of running for me is more than a mile, even at my slow as snot pace. Arguably I'm on my way to being in better physical condition than when I was 13. That's pretty cool. Now I just have to maintain and/or push it up to the next level.

However, as I stated already, I hate running. I've done an assortment of exercise programs: Shred, Tae Bo, Wii My Fitness Coach, Denise Austin aerobics, interval training, the Firm...I'll take any of those over running. Maybe I know which one is more exercise (running) and automatically dread it.

As for food, I still love it. I should make a button that says, "I love food. I hate running." That about sums it up. I think my problem is that when I exercise, I take it as a license to eat more food than I know I should eat. Yeah, I burn off calories on my run. But not 500 of them. This past weekend I made zero point soup. I was making my own soup previously, but it was much more points and very salty. This time I used very low cal veggies: broccoli, zucchini, celery, just a handful of carrots, spinach. Instead of V8 as the soup base, I used chicken bouillion this time. The cube type. It was about 50 calories of broth (in a gallon of soup) and a load of low cal veggies. It's not the tastiest thing ever, but it feels me up. We'll see if that helps (it will save 5 points every day).

I tried some Vita Tops today. They sell them at the local Safeway. Sheesh, they're expensive. The jury's still out on them.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

5 things

My 5 favorite times of day:
1. 11pm
2. Twilight
3. Dinner
4. Lunch
5. ?

5 favorite things to do in Fall:
1. Eat pumpkin anything
2. Halloween
3. Eat turkey
4. Eat candy (see a theme?)
5. Huddle by a Cadet furnace...which we don't have

5 favorite pieces of clothing:
1. footies! I love footies.
2. Sweats
3. jeans
4. black clogs just to irritate my husband who says I walk slow and am way too clumsy in them
5. t-shirts

5 favorite games:
1. Boggle...cause I'm good at it!
2. Taboo...cause it's fun.
3. Trivial Pursuit
4. Loaded Questions...because you learn about your friends.
5. Family Feud

Thursday, October 8, 2009

These walls are closing in

Very strange thing happened a few days ago. I get a friend request on Facebook from the center director at Julia's daycare. Okaaaaaay, guess I have to accept her. Guess I can't put any daycare status updates anymore. Then today I get a friend request from someone who doesn't sound familiar. I sit there, think about it, and then realize it's a daycare teacher. Not Julia's, but another. Okaaaaay, guess I have to accept her. Apparently she's 5 months pregnant. She's one of those that is rail thin and doesn't show. Now that I'm her "friend," I see that she's 20 years old, got married a month ago, has a 3 year old boy, and is having a boy that she's already named Jordan. (She found out the baby's gender today.) She just posted her wedding pictures, and all of the girls she works with were at the wedding. One was a bridesmaid.

And last week my father-in-law Friend'ed me.

This is all very strange. Particularly the daycare thing because it's like a business relationship. Right? Well, I didn't want Kindercare for a reason, so I guess I have to put up with the downside of going to a more family-like Christian daycare.

Guess I can't have any more goth posts on Facebook either. Sheesh, take all my fun away!

Daycare is having a "harvest party" on October 30th. They're giving out candy and having games and such. It is NOT a Halloween party. Ooops, I made a booboo today when Jessica asked me if we were coming to the harvest party, and I mentioned Halloween and dressing up. Got it. "Harvest party." Guess that's the difference between the hard core Christians and the Catholics. We Catholics still do Halloween.

Guess I won't be coming to the "harvest party" as a goth witch.

Anyways, Julia has a boyfriend. She was tackled by Daniel and smothered with kisses by him today, and she was laughing while he was doing it. Not sure S is liking that she has the affection of a boy. I think she disappointed him because she was expected to knee him in the groin or something. How much you want to bet he hauls her off to tae kwon do next week?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Pot Full of Random

#1 - On my walk/run tonight, I encountered a boy of approximately the age of 14, smoking, skateboarding, and wearing pink eyeshadow. He was trying to hit on some young girl. I wanted to tell the girl that you should never date a boy who wears more makeup than you.

#2 - Don't try to run on a full stomach. Lesson learned.

#3 - My husband thinks my blog is hilarious. Poor guy is delusional. Since I don't really talk much, I suppose he likes to read my sarcastic & reclusive thoughts on his iPhone. Must cheer him up somehow. To each his own, I guess.

#4 - What to do when you're friend'ed on Facebook by people you don't want to be friends with? Some I think I can get by with ignoring. Others I've accepted and limited their access since they have 4 friends and will notice if I don't accept them. Now I'm paranoid that they'll find my blog. Then I'll be hauled off to a psychiatric facility for what they think is depression. Yeah, 1 or 2 people think I'm depressed because they used to read my (old) Myspace blog. I don't think much has changed between that blog and this blog, so I'm still probably depressed in their minds. If I was actually going through major depression, one might think my husband or friends would intervene. Eh, the thing is that the people who think I'm depressed don't really know me. I'm not the perky type. If you want pep and perk, I'm sure you can find it in blogland (I personally think you can find a whole treasure trove of perky moms in blogland, I seem to run by them all the time and want to retch in my green tea when they talk about their perfect lives). I'm more of the goth-y, angst-ridden, roll your eyes type who can't pretend to be perky to save her life.

#5 - Why am I everyone's counselor? Seriously, I should charge. People spew all sorts of crap around me. Back in dorm days, I knew all the dirt. When at least 12 people in the dorm confessed every juicy tidbit to you that involved everyone on their floor, I could have started a daily gossip column.

#6 - Bed time. Or at least puzzle time! I love doing puzzles, and after Julia goes to bed is the prime time to solve them.

Small Talk for the Weary

Some days I feel like the most antisocial person in the world. When you narrow it down, it's really that I can't stand small talk with people I'm never going to see again. Who cares if it's raining or sunny? And why must I talk for 10 minutes about weather (which none of us can change) with a stranger? Oh, it's a way to soften the mood and establish a rapport with some stranger. See, I'm Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.

Fact 1: I'm still bitter about the whole Washington Mutual collapse and harbor mean feelings toward Chase. What has Chase done? Not much except get a great bargain when it acquired Wamu's assets and then changed all of the interiors of their banks to "more professional." Washington Mutual was very casual and had TVs scrolling with entertainment headlines. Somehow it seemed to work, people *thought* they were a respectable bank even though they were leveraged beyond their means. Oh well. Chase came in, and that place is "bankified" to the hilt with the little teller windows and professional dress instead of Wamu t-shirts.

Fact 2: Chase Online pisses me off. It has to recognize your computer or it won't let you log in. You have to go through this horrendous authentication process. I suppose it wouldn't be so horrendous if they hadn't said my e-mail address is invalid and only has my disconnected home phone number (by choice, we're cell phone only now). Since I can't authenticate either of those two ways, I'm kind of screwed because I can't check my bank balances online. Thank heavens for the iPhone Chase app...but still...pisses me off.

So today I have this reimbursement check from my job. For some reason, expense checks don't get automatically deposited. I would love that but not gonna happen. My goal is to get the check into my account. Since I have the whole antisocial personality disorder, I considered putting it in the ATM or night deposit. But it's over $100, and that would be a huge mess if it doesn't get credited. Not that it's ever happened, but I have trust issues with ATMS. I suck it up, and I go into the physical bank.

Wamu used to have one slip for deposits AND withdrawals. At this point, you probably think all Wamu did was have their employees sit in their t-shirts at non-teller windows smoking pot. Since the company did collapse, obviously there were problems in the company's infrastructure. But they made things very easy and comfortable for customers. I searched the stupid Chase customer station for the deposit slips. Fill the darn thing out, sign my check, and stand in line.

I get the chatty teller who wasn't from Wamu. If you must be a chatty teller, can you at least chat about the weather? It's like with chatty librarians. If you must be chatty, can you chat about something nonsensical? I despise librarians who chat with you about every book and movie you check out. They must give me their opinions on everything, or ask if I'm learning to crochet if I check out a book on crocheting. Should I say that I'm learning to crochet because I just met a man through the prison matchmaker service who has asked me to make him a blanket for his prison cell? I'm hoping he'll be so impressed with my crocheting ability that he'll propose. It will be a long engagement since he's doing time for a triple homicide, but in 2034 I can't wait to be a bride. Maybe that would shut the librarian up.

Anyhoo, here's a transcript of my deposit and what I'm thinking. Poor girl was just trying to engage me in conversation. And I was PO'ed at Chase and Chase Online for reasons beyond this teller's control.

Teller: How's your day going today?

Me: Fine

Teller: Are you doing anything special today?

Me: No. (Just credit my account, and I'll be out of your hair.)

Teller: Are you a teacher? (She saw where the check was from. I'm presuming she thought it was a payroll check.)

Me: No. (Yeah, I'm a stunning conversationalist. I'm sure you all will attest to that. One word responses are par for me. And now I'm a little irritated because she's reading things into checks. Just deposit the check, Lady.)

Teller: What do you do for them?

Me: (Haven't you gotten the hint, Lady?) Research

Teller: Do you like it?

Me: (Now I'm resorting to head gestures) Slight nod

Teller: What does your job entail?

Me: (Am I on a fricking job interview?) Financial stuff

Teller: Is it interesting?

Me: (Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! How long does it take to deposit a check?) Yeah

Teller: Is there anything else you need?

Me: (A stiff drink.) No thank you. Have a nice day.

Teller: You too, honey.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Waiting for the Point Fairy

For the vast majority of my life, it's been a source of comfort that I don't need to rely on a paycheck. I mean, I love payday like everyone else, but if something happened with the automatic deposit, it's not like I would go without food. That's what an emergency fund is for.

I totally empathize with those who wait for payday though. I've been doing this Weight Watchers thing with an okay amount of success (20 pounds lost since January...not stunning by any means, but it's a nice amount). My self-control is getting the better of me, and I have been tending to be out of points for the day by 2pm. Every day you get a restock of your points, and every week you get a restock of 35 flex points.

I am waiting in agony for the points fairy to restock my daily points and weekly flex points. I'm going through my points like a shopaholic goes through her paycheck, and then I whine about how I'm penniless til "pay day." When the real issue is that my lack of self-control is the real problem. I can live within my means (point allocation) comfortably with a little self-restraint.

Why oh why am I better with money than with food? I can stretch a budget like no one's business. And I can stretch a waistband like no one's business too.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

It's like Beta and VHS

I did a 20 minute run today! As in, running for 20 consecutive minutes without a heart attack, throwing up, or convulsions. Woot woot! For the next week I'm going to do the same run, and then I'm going to gradually up it each week til I get to 30 minutes of consecutive running.

Two entertaining blogs: self-explanatory, dating horror stories that will make you appreciate your significant other a whole lot more. And if you're single, it makes looking single a whole lot better. Cute letters that have been sent

I have a slanket (gift in 2007). With all of this Snuggie crazy, I felt bad for the poor slanket that hasn't gotten much of the attention. The stupid Snuggie has gotten all the attention. I wondered if the slanket was like Beta, and the Snuggie was like VHS. I had to know the answer, and I found this cute review of Snugglie vs. Slanket vs. a few other blankets with sleeves.

Time for night night!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Obsession: Part 2

Part 1 to catch up:

I was accepted into the Running Start program at the end of my sophomore year. After what happened with PK, that sealed the deal. That summer I started taking classes at the community college and did well, so I was encouraged that I would have a calm school year at community college.

On the first day of Fall quarter 1993, I nearly passed out when I nearly ran into PK on campus. He still talked to SA, and I still talked to SA. So I’m not really sure if it was just coincidence that we both ended up going to Green River or not. Highline is technically the closer of the two community colleges, so I was more than surprised when we ran into each other. He didn’t seem all that surprised though. I was panicked, thinking that he was going to do something. But he acted like nothing was wrong. And he was actually kind of … friendly. It turns out that the high school graduated him since he was so close to graduation. He didn’t tell me that though, and I didn’t ask him. I ended up asking SA.

I had to create some strategy to deal with PK. Should I ignore him? Run away when I see him? Be polite? I decided to go the civil route. If I didn’t make waves and didn’t say anything stupid, perhaps I’d fade into the background from his perspective. So I kept it light, nonchalant, and tried to get rid of him by having to rush to class.

Inevitably, we passed by each other on the way to classes each day. Most of the time he’d make small talk, and I’d go along with it. After all, if I didn't make him mad, he could be tolerable. One day I missed the bus because he was talking so much. He offered to drive me to work. I was extremely reticent about being alone with him, but I didn’t have many other options, so I said okay. And he was friendly enough on the drive there.

Probably a month into the school year (late October-ish), I saw him walking with a lady. I recognized her from the bus I took. He wasn’t hanging around me between classes as much, which was a nice break. I was glad his attention was on someone besides me. The lady looked kind of older (hey, I was 15. Everyone looked older.), maybe late twenties or early 30s. PK was 18. I also noticed PK was growing a beard. Ah, the things men will do for women.

Mid-November the beard suddenly disappeared, and he and I kept bumping into each other again. He would want to go out to eat on the days I didn’t have work after school. I kept trying to come up with creative excuses, and I teased him about the lady I used to see him with to keep it light. He kept dismissing her, I kept dismissing the offers to go out.

One night I passed by the upstairs window in my house and saw a familiar car a few houses away. It was around 8 at night. What do I do? I turn all the lights off in the house and try to figure out what’s going on. It’s PK’s car and he’s sitting there watching my house.

I hadn’t told my mom that PK was going to Green River as well. I had told some friends, but by this time I was moving farther apart from them because they were still immersed in high school. I was in a different environment, and my friends were becoming classmates at college. But my new friends didn’t know what a weirdo PK was. That evening I couldn’t sleep because I was paranoid that I had inadvertently upset PK, and who knows what he would do.

As time went on, things got even weirder – if that’s possible. I got a phone call one evening. From Becky. Who’s Becky? Yeah, I didn’t know either at first. Well, Becky turned out to be the older woman that PK had seen at the first part of school. I had no idea she knew who I was. I had no idea how she got my number. But the gist of what she told me is that I should stay away from her man. Which of course is hysterical because I would literally pay anyone to keep him away from me. I told her I had absolutely zero intentions with PK, and he was all hers. Becky didn’t believe me, and then she started crying. I was 15 years old with a slightly crazy, almost 30 year old crying at me over the phone about a psychotic guy. How did I get myself in this predicament? Then she tells me she’s pregnant by PK. And she’s married to someone else. She pleads with me to talk to PK to take her back. I have no idea how her husband fits into this.

In order to fulfill the request of a pregnant Becky who I couldn’t help but feel sorry for, my mission the next day was to seek out PK on campus. That is an extremely easy mission since he was everywhere I turn. I corner him and tell him Becky called me. He already knew about the baby, but he doesn’t want to be with her. “Tough crap, you have to be with her,” I told him.

Then he says he doesn’t love Becky. He loves ME. So what if the first guy who professed his love for me was a psycho stalker who knocked up a married woman? Not my crowning achievement in life, I must say. The conversation didn’t go anywhere.

After class one day he comes up to me with two wrapped presents and tells me they are my Christmas gifts. He insists I open them right there. One is a gift card to the Bon Marche (now Macy’s), and the other is an engraved bracelet with my name. I try to explain to him that I think Becky could use the gift card for the baby. That ticked him off because I mentioned two people--Becky and the baby--that he did NOT want to talk about. At that point, I refused to take the gift card. I would never spend it, or I’d hand it over to Becky on the bus one day. And if I could get him to actually speak to Becky, all the better.

I ticked him off, as expected. The next day I found this letter on my doorstep. Excuse the quality of printer ink. It was 1993, and I think he used a dot matrix printer. (Click to make it bigger.) Notice the hostile tone and what he calls himself. I of course was thrilled that he wouldn't be talking to me for several weeks.

Then a few days later I find this note and card on my doorstep. Darn, I thought he was going to be “away” until January.

I still have this stupid Superman card, as you can see. As if I know what to do with the thing. The stupid things I keep.

It finally became 1994. I was ready for a new school quarter. Possibly PK was going to do the right thing and get together with Becky. All would be good. Right? Of course not, but a girl can hope. I sit down on my first day in my English lit class, get out my notebook, and in walks PK and Follower SL. My heart sinks. PK plopped down right next to me. He kept scooting closer, and I kept scooting in the other direction until I’ve practically got the people next to me sitting on each other.

The tables in the classroom were shaped like two layers of horseshoes with an inner and outer ring. The next day I sat on the opposite side of the room, in the back horseshoe. I chose it because two people were sitting there with a space in between them. In I went, so proud of myself for not getting stuck next to PK. What does PK do? Sit directly across me from me and stare at me for the next hour.

Of course the rest of the class picked up that something’s going on between us. Even the dense teacher figured it out within a few days. Probably two weeks into class, PK was absent. Everyone in the class asked what was going on. I told them the abbreviated version and left out the Becky part. There were 5-6 football players taking the class. For the rest of the quarter, they let me sit amongst them. They were all very kind. One time the teacher counted us off into groups. Of course PK and I ended up with the same number. The teacher noticed and then switched him into another group.

I was taking chemistry as well. PK would wait for me after my chemistry class. One day my chemistry partner told me my boyfriend came by, and he was really cute. Huh? My boyfriend didn’t…. Wait, describe him. Oh, that’s not my boyfriend. That’s PK. She told me that he told her that he was my boyfriend.

Then there was the time PK confronted a guy I was semi-dating and told him that he was dating me. At some point, you wonder after all of these little things happen if you’re the crazy one. Was I in a relationship with PK? I think for that to happen I would have to have some knowledge of a relationship. Since I didn’t and our interaction was limited, I was pretty sure I was right that there was no relationship. There were a few bouquets of flowers, a few more notes that I would immediately crumple.

How does the story end?

There was a bad, horrible explosion between us. I ticked him off one day by talking with a guy in one o, he followed me out to the parking lot, threw me in his car, he was out of control. He told me that he was going to kill me, and he was in such a state that he could have. Fortunately, he was so out of control that he got in a car accident. It was actually GOOD because no one was hurt, but it jarred him out of his intention of  killing me.

Things got a bit better after that. I was super careful in my interactions with him. He did call me frequently and say how much he messed up his life. Even though I was now dealing with a depressed guy over the phone, it was a lot easier to deal with him over the phone than in person. Only a few times he was on my doorstep in despair. I’d try to do my best and talk with him outside. He could be incredibly nice when he wasn’t trying to impress anyone. I chose to associate with some scary-looking guys that intimidated even PK. Soon he finally stopped calling and dropping by my house. After spring quarter, he seemed to have disappeared. Part of me was so ecstatic to be free from him. A smaller part wondered what PK was up to. What was he doing? Did he keep in contact with Becky and his child? Even today I wonder what he’s up to. There’s a high probability he’s either in prison or doing something with comic books if he’s not in prison. I wonder how many other women he’s become obsessed with over the years. I wish there was some sort of warning I could have put out there to others. Don’t let him latch onto you because he’s a parasite.

So that’s my tale of obsession. I will never know why I was picked. I’m certainly not the prettiest, the most vivacious, or the smartest. But for some reason, PK latched onto me. I should have put a restraining order on him after the day he tried to strangle me and threatened me with a knife. Maybe that could have cut out the rest of the saga. The whole experience certainly raised my threshold for “crazy.” When anyone tells me they know someone who’s obsessed with them, I feel like I legitimately say I know what that feels like. As many nutjobs there are in the world, I feel better prepared to handle them now.