Memory Void

I have so many memories. I swear that my first ever memory was being only a few hours old and looking at the fuzzy face of my father. I have many memories of being in my crib, being a small child, an older child, and of course a teenager. It's not that I can just remember what happened, but I remember the music in the background or what someone was wearing, or what I was thinking. A plane flying particularly low during the day can instantly transport me back to being 7 years old when I thought the air show in Pittsburgh was really the Russians coming to get us. I was frantic, and my uncle had to talk me off the ledge. And spunky me still didn't believe him, even after the 30 minute airshow didn't transpire rockets aimed at the house. I can't help but laugh when I think even my 7-year old self needed several big doses of Xanax to get through the day. Note: I still haven't taken Xanax because I fear becoming a Xanax addict.

There is one memory that I never had the opportunity to obtain & I really wanted to have.

When I visited my dad every summer, he always took me to Kennywood (an amusement park) in Pittsburgh. I loved Kennywood. It is the most awesome amusement park ever. The wood coasters, the metal coasters, the old world rides (the Whip, Log Jam, Kangaroo, and that slow haunted water ride at the entrance to the park), cheese fries. I've been to a multitude of other parks, including Disney and Magic Mountain, but Kennywood is number one in my book. There's something thrilling about the rides and the anticipation and the awesome culinary specialties...but I digress.

My father got sick around the time I was late 14/early 15, so I think my last Kennywood experience was at either 13 or 14 years old. My dad always took me since my grandparents were way too old & my uncle wasn't into amusement parks. There's nothing worse than being with someone at an amusement park who doesn't have your same level of excitement. You can only be as excited as the least excited person you're with, or something like that. My dad and I would get there at opening time and stay until the park closed. And I give 3 minute bathroom breaks and 10 minute eating breaks, so for the vast amount of the day we are riding every ride as much as possible.

Every time we'd go, I'd spend a lot of time people watching. I love people watching, and I was there with my dad & it's not like dads and tweens have much to talk about for hours on end. Thus, there's lots of silence as we wait to get on rides. And the lines could be LONG!!! On hot days, the water ride lines were forever. Even though my dad tried to hide it, he really wasn't into the roller coasters like I was, and he really wasn't into heights. Therefore, he tended to encourage the water rides & the ones that just spun you around on the ground, and of course bumper cars.

I'm digressing. As we would wait for all these rides, I would look at other people in the lines. Since it was summer, there was quite the contingent that were groups of friends who came to the park together. There would be 4-6 people, usually equally distributed males/females, and they would be hanging out together in the line. Sometimes you could tell that someone was flirting with someone else, who liked who, all that from the body language. I would always focus on the guy who was standing there nervously, not sure if he should put an arm around the girl who was standing next to him, or you could see him trying to figure out how to maneuver the seating arrangement so that he could sit next to the girl he was interested in.

The memory I want to have is to go to the amusement park with a guy who likes me. Well, I want the teenage version of myself to go through that. Yeah, that ship has sailed, and it ain't ever going to happen. It's my memory void.

I moved to this town on the west coast when I was 13. In my town, we have the only "real" amusement park in the whole freaking state, but I still don't think it's "real." It's definitely nowhere near Kennywood. I haven't even been to the amusement park in town! And I love amusement parks. It looks so pathetic when I drive by it that I cannot even fathom being seen at it. Okay, I'm an amusement park snob.

Even so, I was never invited to this amusement park during my teen years...or my 20s. People really never talked about it much as an activity here; they get all excited about the city fair that's 10 miles away instead. I had a few opportunities to go to the fair when I was younger, but I never took anyone up on it. In retrospect, I should have because when I went in my 20s, it was pretty fun.

Going now to the nearby amusement park is kind of stupid. The park is still very lame (as far as amusement parks go), and my husband is so not into amusement parks. At all. What fun is it going to an amusement park with someone who doesn't like amusement parks? And you can't try to recreate memories that you missed. I have some awfully good memories of Kennywood; they are just with my dad instead of a group of friends.

I have a ton of other really cool memories, but there's a little piece of me that longs for the memory of wondering who I will sit with in my group of friends when we go onto the haunted water ride.