Helpful Advice

I do love my mother-in-law. She is incredibly generous and kind. She raised her three children well. Sometimes, though, a conversation with her on the phone - or even just listening to S's side of the conversation with her on the phone - makes me want to roll my eyes.

Every once in a while she does a Julia interrogation. I'm not sure what prompts it, but for whatever reason occasionally there is an hour long conversation about Julia. Mother-in-law spent 3 days with Julia when she was a newborn, and then the next time she saw her was when she was 8 months old and in the 2nd percentile. I have a feeling that mother-in-law thought we were merely incompetent at feeding Julia, and that's why she was so low weight. While I do admit that I have some competency issues, there is also the fact that Julia refused to eat. After that visit when she experienced it herself, she seemed to tone down the, "Have you tried this? Have you tried that?" as related to her feeding.

There are some things that she says that do produce the eye rolling still. If anyone said them, I'd roll my eyes. However, when they are bunched up together in the same conversation or within a few days, I have to watch that my eye rolls do not become belabored sighs.

- I'm sorry that a kid in your church has the horrible disease of which you mention, but I doubt Julia has it too. When I look it up online, I see seizures are a feature of this disease. Julia's problem is that she doesn't eat. She doesn't have seizures. Again, I'm sorry about the kid in your church.

- Thank you for reminding me that babies need to wear sunscreen when they're outside during the summer. Yes, we have Waterbabies. Yes, we don't keep her out too long. (Resisting the urge to say, "Really? Babies need to wear sunscreen? Why?")

- The hat thing. We must have 30 hats for Julia. Everyone gives you baby hats. Nurses and old ladies are obsessed with putting hats on babies. S and I really don't think hats are necessary unless you have a winter baby. As long as the baby isn't cold, it's not a priority to us. After she was 2 weeks old, she has never worn a hat. (We're both inside people anyway and she rarely spends time outside not in the shade, so it's not really a concern due to the sun.) Hats never stay on, the baby usually doesn't like them, and they kinda look stupid. But whenever a nurse or a woman over 60 asks you if you put a hat on your baby, say YES!

- Car seats. Ugh, do we have to go there? They've changed the regulations, and now they recommend rear facing for longer. "Yes, we bought her a convertible car seat. Yes, we installed it per the instructions." Need we say more? Really?

- When your point of reference is always the kids at your church, your children that were raised 30-40 years ago, and your grandchildren, it gets grating to hear the same comparisons over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Yes, I know every other kid and grandkid was a good eater except for the other granddaughter. She didn't gain weight well. She was only in the 30th percentile. Sorry, you lost me. 30th percentile is freaking huge compared to 2nd.


I know she thinks she's helping. Or she thinks we're idiots, which would mean that she's helping us become less of idiots. I would appreciate help more in the line of babysitting vs. 'helpful' 'advice' though.