I am so angry. I tend to quickly get angry and then quickly cool down. So when I'm still angry 3 hours later, then I think to myself that I may legitimately have a reason to be angry.
The daycare report today said that Julia ate 7 ounces at daycare today. Not that great...but when you look closer, she had 4 ounces at 8:30am and 3 ounces at 4:00pm. Typically if she refuses a bottle, they list the time and say "refused." None of that is listed. The only entries are 8:30am, lunch with no liquids mentioned & nothing taken out of her sippy cup, and 4:00pm. They did say she was in the fishie room almost all day today. She has one nap listed from 1:00pm - 2:30pm.
How do I interpret this? I interpret her report card as they did not try to feed her a bottle between 9am and 4pm. And the stinkers fed her at 4pm, so when we get her home, she's not very hungry for dinner and then her bedtime bottle (of which we're lucky to get 3-4 ounces into her).
Wanna know how angry I was?
I drove to daycare and asked to speak to the center director. She was in a board meeting, so I explained my concern to the assistant director. The assistant director said that it looked like a long time between the two feedings and would talk with the teacher ... blah blah blah. I reiterated that Julia is failure to thrive and eats small amounts more frequently, and going this long between feeding attempts is way too long. I understand she's transitioning to the toddler room but please attempt to feed her since she's not great with the sippy cup blah blah blah. On my way out I see the rocket scientist Courtney (see previous blogs). She said that Julia was fussy when she woke up from her nap at 2:30. I wanted to scream, "Then why didn't anyone try to feed her?" But I restrained myself from screaming at her and strangling her. I was quite proud of myself actually!
I was still so angry that I went to the nearby Kindercare. I wondered what their toddler room was like. Unfortunately, they have the same 12-2 one nap thing. But.... from 8-12 months, they have a 'waddler' room. For 4 months they work on the transition from the infant room to the toddler room. 4 months!
The lady was kind of creepy. Well, SHE wasn't necessarily, but she was brainwashed into using weird terminology. They call the kids/children/infants 'friends.' It's really weird to listen to. "Most of our friends transition from the waddler room to the toddler room at 12 months." Why can't you call them children? It sounds kinda cult-like if you call them 'friends.' All the staff had walkie talkies. Kinda odd. And they all called each other "Miss So and So" even when the kids- I mean friends- weren't present. It's weird to observe adult-to-adult interaction where they call each other "Miss So and So." And the workers wear uniforms. I don't know, just a creepy vibe like you're in a place far, far removed from society at large. Michael Jackson kinda creepy.
Oh, one thing she did say was really odd. She first asked what my daughter's name was. I said Julia. She said she hadn't heard of it. Then I re-pronounced it to the very American woman because maybe I said it too fast or something and it sounded like some other name. Ju-li-a. She still looked at me blankly. In my year of telling people my daughter's name, no one has ever looked at me like I named her something off-the-wall. If she was Moonbeam or Sassafrass, I can see the puzzled look.
Yeah, I'll sum up the whole Kindercare experience as a Michael Jackson sort of creepy. Hell no will Little Sassafrass be going to Kindercare.
Overall, I am happy where she is now. I do not get a creepy vibe at all. I just think when she's between two different rooms, she gets lost in the shuffle & they forgot to attempt to give her a bottle. Maybe the toddler teacher tried to feed her, and she doesn't log refusals like the infant room.
Who really knows? Yet I really, really want to stay away from Kindercare. Heebie jeebie overload!
17 comments:
Calling kids, "friends" is totally weird. I swear the things people come up with these days to call things never ceases to amaze me! It's like sitting "Indian style" is no longer acceptable and now it's "criss cross applesauce." Seriously, who has nothing better to do than to sit around and rename things???? I would steer way clear of that place!
And big mommy kudos to you for marching back up there and looking for answers! Seeing that much time in between feedings would have made me livid also!!! Let's hope that someone just forgot to write a feeding or an attempt to feed down....
Thanks for the warning about Kindercare. That is creepy. Personally, I like to just be called Ann. I am finding other parents don't like that. They want me to be Miss Ann. I swear, parenthood in general is a whole new, strange world. Not being a parent to Sophie, but being a parent in parent world:)
I have no problem with the Miss thing...though I'd rather they just use the last name than say miss and a first name. That's a little kid teacher thing, I guess.
I checked out a kindercare and don't remember them calling the kids friends. Maybe that is a newer thing. I do think the transition should have been done more slowly and I don't understand why they insist on only one nap for such a young age group. Especially considering that most of those kids are up early since most jobs start at 8AM.
Good luck!!!
you are all crazy. You are the kind of parents that make everyone cater to YOUR child. When you have a classroom of 10, 14, or even 20 kids who ALL conform to the schedule at some point in time, why should yours be any different? Yeah, it might take extra effort, but eventually all children need to be on a schedule to help them feel safe and secure. The children who make their own schedules end up on Supernanny. And BTW, referring to the kids as friends creates an environment where ALL the CHILDREN can begin to refer to eachother as friends. What's wrong with that? From reading your blogs, it seems that your kid needs a nanny.
Hmmm, interesting comments....anonymous do you have kids?
I highly doubt our neet little anonymous blogger has any kids.
actually I have two, but thanks for asking
Well then Anonymous blogger, since you obviously have more parental experience with babies than we do, please enlighten us as to how you would have addressed your underweight child only being fed 2 times in a day with a 7.5 hour interval in between feedings? Should Beth have been ok with that and not checked into it at all? Please enlighten us instead of belittling and insulting us by calling us crazy....
I'm a mom of 4.
One thing I learned early on, don't judge another's parenting skills. What works for one, might not work for another.
Our job is to protect our children. We provide for them, support them, teach them, raise them to be self sufficient, independent children who grow up to be responsible adults. It's the hardest job we'll ever have.
We 2nd guess ourselves enough as moms, we don't need other moms judging us too. What does that generate?
As I read Bethany's post, she was venting her frustrations, sharing her personal stories.
Anonymous, what's the point of your comments? What's the point of the alias? Can you express your opinion in a more positive manner? That's what a friend would do.
But maybe you are not friends with Bethany, so why follow her blog?
Trying to get your child to go along with a sleep schedule that the others are on is one thing. Not feeding them because they have issues - and legitimate medical issues, not just behavioral - is just plain wrong, lazy, and incompetent. These are BABIES!!! Not preschool children!!! There is nothing wrong with wanting the best for your baby. I would be more upset with a mom who just lets her child melt into the background and never stands up for her.
Beth, you are doing just what you need to do. Don't let some "crazy" anonymous person make you think different. Those of us who know you know how much you second guess and question all your feelings and thoughts about what you should do. You have our support and admiration!
~Kelly :-)
Dear Anonymous,
It is illegal to have a classroom of 10 to 20 one-year-olds. The State of Washington requires at least one adult for every three to five children who are under five-years-old. So, unless you consider a "classroom" a group of 20 kids with five teachers, than you don't have to force everyone onto the same schedule.
Secondly, you are obviously a very rude person since you would say such nasty things "anonymously". It is people like you who many of the women on this page run from having near their children. I am a Washington State Certified Teacher with a master's degree in Education and I know that even within a classroom of 35 teenagers you have to take into account individual differences in personality and learning style.
So, yes, I would expect a daycare center that claims it's adults to be teachers and spouts that it is an educational environment to take into account each child's physical need. Not all one-year-olds only take one two hour nap a day. I actually don't know any that do naturally. Therefore, it may be harmful to force them to do so. Instead, a loving, nurturing environment would set up their facility to allow for differences among their "students".
In addition, I believe you misunderstood what you think you learned about children. Children flourish with consistency, not rigidity. There is a difference. To be consistent means to be dependable so children know what to expect. To be rigid means to never take into account a child's individual needs. Maybe you need to take some early childhood education classes before you spout out hateful things to other people.
Can I say BRAVO and GIANT KUDOS to you Scrapping in Circles! This quote I will remember with my own child. It makes PERFECT sense....
"Children flourish with consistency, not rigidity. There is a difference. To be consistent means to be dependable so children know what to expect. To be rigid means to never take into account a child's individual needs."
WELL SAID!!!!
Thank you so much for sharing!!!
In fact, I am stealing that quote and saving it. I really like it...
Can I please requote it?
Or is that even a word? LOL I guess I should have asked if I can quote you....
sending hugs of support your way Bethy!
Every mother (parent) has to do what is best for their child... which is exactly what you are doing!
and let me put a plug in for Bright Horizons... not sure if they are in Washington. they are awesome!
Feel free to quote me. What an honor!!! I guess all those education classes taught me something after all. (=
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