Friday, April 17, 2009

One BIG vice

My funny, vice-laden uncle recently told me that I need to get some vices. I have one big vice - sweets - but he seems to think that I need to add a few others to my toolkit of coping skills.

Coffee - it is sacrireligious to live in Seattle and not drink coffee. I know this. I am surrounded by some of the best coffee in the world, and I have yet to imbibe it. It's way too bitter. I've been told to add cream to it. Why not just eat a cream filled dessert instead? Why use the cream to tone down bitterness? Part of me feels like I should go through a Starbucks drive-thru and order a venti double shot something something.

Alcohol - Beer is icky to me. A glass of wine here or there is okay. A little vodka mixed with fruit juice is okay. But most of the time a little glass is all it takes before I feel a little hazy, and then I call it good.

Drugs - I've been given many Percocet & Vicodin prescriptions in my life, and I've never filled one of them. I probably could use Xanax (particularly with all of Miss J's feeding / sleeplessness / crankiness issues), but I have yet to muster enough courage to go to a doctor and ask for a prescription. Because a doctor will weigh me (ack!) and ask me personal questions (double ack!!) & I am not really fond of doctors anyway. Therefore, I don't have a Xanax vice yet.

Smoking - disgusting. I can't get over how my hands and hair pick up the smell of smoke in a bar, much less trying the habit myself.

Miss J is now up for the fifth time since going to bed at 8pm. She is soooo unhappy. I know she's hungry (only at 10 ounces so far for the day), but she won't eat. What is wrong with her? Why do the doctors not take me seriously?

Xanax. I really need some Xanax. Xanax, I need you. And it would probably be a much better vice than sweets because I might be able to lose some weight.

2 comments:

Marie Tere said...

Oh B ... you forgot using a public fridge. Sleep and eat Miss J -- mama is on the edge. hugs.....

Anonymous said...

Stick with sweets, trust me it is the only vice that you need. Stay away from alcohol. If you really think you need to pick up another vice try porn or sex.

Good luck.