Trainwrecks

I strive to make my Facebook presence lighthearted and quirky.  I don’t think I necessarily achieve it, but hey, it’s the goal.  It seems to be a good way to go so as to not offend anyone.  And being that I’m friends with my manager, some co-workers, Julia’s daycare providers, my in-laws, and some church moms, it’s probably for the best.  Occasionally you will see a glimmer of the real me if I hit “post” too quick, but usually I’m far too sober to be that reckless.  Here you will find more of the true me, the one who rolls her eyes & is sarcastic & finds so many things annoying.  I still have no blog identity, and that kinda bugs me.  Do I want to write about having a kid, losing weight (that never seems to happen though), exercise, the awful empire of Chase, photography, finding good coupon deals, home remodeling?  I jump around topics like crazy, and they say when you blog you have to pick a topic and Stick. With. It.  Oh well, I have no theme & can’t stick with a topic.  Sticking with one topic is bor-ing, and it’s not an accurate representation of me. 

Back to Facebook.  Some people have defined their Facebook presences in very annoying ways, at least to me. 

The Braggarts:  This type must announce how profoundly awesome they are all the time and all the cool stuff they do that you don’t get to do because you’re a mere mortal.  They are always going to Hawaii and announcing all the interesting (in their minds) stuff they get to do that day.  Or they are retired and announcing that they just spent yet another day on the golf course.  Or that they’re going to the best concert ever because their perfect husbands got them tickets.  I have no problem with occasional posts about the fun stuff you do.  My problem is that this type only posts these picture perfect snippets from their lives - nothing else - as if they are striving to get people to comment “so jealous.”  Am I to conclude that if you aren't posting, you actually have a normal life and it's kinda boring?  The truth is that I’m not so jealous when they boast.  If I wanted to be on a golf course all day, I would find a way so that could happen.  And I don’t like Hawaii – too touristy and hot & humid.    So I either roll my eyes at the consistent Braggarts, or I hide them if de-friending isn’t an option (in the case of my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, who are both in the Braggart category).

 The Political Ones:  I work in a profession that is highly tied to politics.  I’m liberal, I support most of the liberal causes.  But even I get tired of the zillion links the Political Ones provide every day.  I suppose I admire that you’ve successfully made your Facebook presence have a defined identity, but for the love of gawd, give it a break for a day.  Please.  I’m so close to hiding you.  Even though I do have some conservative friends on Facebook, even they do not post that much in the way of political links and the like. 

 The Religious Ones:  I know you’re religious and read the Bible, but I can really do without all the obscure Bible quotes in your statuses.  This is mainly from the daycare workers, who are evangelical Christians.  I have a problem with Bible quotes randomly inserted into things without any context.  Things can be misconstrued very easily without the all important context. 

 The Really Negative Ones:  Every post is a complaint about how awful your luck is.  Then why don’t you try and make your life better?  Oh yeah, because nothing is your fault; it’s your bad “luck.”  Way to go for external locus of control!  You don’t have to take any responsibility for your actions because everything is done TO you.  Got it. 

 The Facebook Trainwrecks:  These are the people who shouldn’t be allowed to have Facebook accounts.   This group is kind of analogous to the people who should never be issued a parenting license if there were such things as parenting licenses.  They either do not understand the mechanics of Facebook, or they are way TMI.  But because they don’t understand Facebook or are very TMI, they turn your Facebook experience into so much, much more.

 Let’s dissect the Trainwreck category some more.

 Let’s say your friends with 2 people who are also friends with each other.  One of them says something derogatory about the other on your wall.  The Trainwreck doesn’t realize that the other person can see what was said.  Wall conversations between people you are mutual friends with show up on your wall even if you’re not a participant.  This is why the Facebook gods invented chat and messaging, so as to avoid these uncomfortable situations.  And if you’re talking directly to one person (as in a conversation), write it on the person's wall vs. your status, unless it’s uproariously funny – and then it’s okay.  But from what I observed, it seemed definitely like a conversation directed at one person but actually got aimed at everyone when put as a status. 

 Remember that family dinner with S’s cousin and his girlfriend?  And how I accepted her because I knew she’d be some awesome entertainment?  Oh yeah, that’s definitely turning out to be the case.  She’s definitely in the Way TMI category, and I seriously think she has an anger/mood disorder due to her posts.  She’ll fit right in with the rest of us, I suppose, if she ever officially gets into the family.  Why is she so entertaining?  1) Because of the ho-licious (her word) pictures of herself.  2) Because she posts these self-help messages all the time – the kind you would get at those motivational seminars that are part of pyramid schemes.  Kinda like what the religious folks post, but no Bible citation.  3) Because you can follow the bouncing ball.  She had a date last Friday with her boyfriend (the cousin), but he stood her up.  She wrote that she had gotten stood up.  Then the next day she wrote that if you can’t be #1 in someone’s life now, then there’s nowhere to go but down or something along those lines.  If you follow the bouncing ball, they probably had a fight about him not being there the night before, and she didn’t like or accept his reasoning for missing the date.  Then she took down her profile pic of her and him. 

 (Do you see why I want to pop popcorn and keep watching all this?  But at the same time, seriously… stop the insanity, in the words of Susan Powter. I shouldn’t be watching the demise of a relationship in real time over Facebook.)

 Then it looks like he promised to make it up to her on Wednesday night because she posted she was looking forward to her date on Wednesday night.  And the thing is, I now have started to go back to her wall to see the comments on her statuses to see what is exactly going on.  Because now I’m emotionally invested, or completely interested in the trainwreck, it all depends on how you want to spin it.  :p   Then she took down the Wednesday post on Thursday, so now I’m left in complete bewilderment. 

 Oh yeah, and she doesn’t have her relationship status on her page.  You know how you can say you’re single or in a relationship or even in a relationship with ____ (after you do that confirming thing)?  I just thought it was odd since she seemed to be the type to publish such things.  The cousin has a Facebook account, and I’m not friends with him.  I didn’t really like him when I met him, and plus then I’d get to see their lovey dovey crap that they post to each other all the time, so I didn’t friend him.  And I tend not to friend people.  I suppose I don’t want to be the one that no one accepts.  I couldn’t take the rejection. 

 And my crazy sister-in-law STILL hasn’t approved the cousin’s girlfriend as a friend.  Of course, it gets me wondering because I could have sworn my crazy sister-in-law hates me.  She never talks to me at family functions, which are the only time I ever see her.  But yet she seeks me out on Myspace and Facebook.  Then when she called the cops on S’s parents, she de-friended them and most of the family.  But she didn’t de-friend me or S.  I dunno, I find it weird.  Obviously she has some criteria for friendship even on a social networking site, and somehow I met that criteria, but it still leaves me wondering.  I want to ask her if she likes me, and if she does like me, then why doesn’t she ever talk to me or even acknowledge my presence?  Another thing I find weird is that the cousin’s girlfriend isn’t friends on Facebook with the cousin’s mother.  Even I am friends with the cousin’s mother, and I haven’t even met her.   And the girlfriend told a lot of stories that included the cousin’s mother, so obviously they know each other & something else is going on.  

Although I must say that the cousin’s mother is almost as weird as the cousin’s girlfriend.  On Friday I got a card from her for Julia’s birthday.  Julia’s birthday was in early June.  It’s late August.  2.5 months late on a birthday card?  At that point, why not just wait until next year?  I don’t get it. 

 I suppose I don’t understand lots of things.  I wish I did.  Or maybe it’s better that I don’t understand.