Ponderings about Glutes

Our new house is on a huge hill. It's toward the bottom of the hill. There's a main road that runs horizontal, but it's not a very long road & who likes to walk on main roads anyway? That leaves me with a lot of scaling hills. I wind up and down the streets, often repeating parts of the same hill. Extreme up, extreme down, on repeat.

Our last house wasn't on very flat terrain, or at least that's what I thought at the time. Compared to this house, that house was surrounded by complete flat terrain. When I walk next, I will have to log the elevation changes. It's got to be a couple hundred feet difference between the top and bottom of the hill. And I wind up and down it many, many times when I go for a walk.

My butt has been so sore. Glutes. The word is glutes. My glute muscles have been so sore. Is that better? I think I'm going to have rock hard glutes with all of these hills.

This is all leading to butts. I do not understand people's fascination with butts. Perhaps it's because I don't have a butt. I was blessed in other departments, but I got nothing in the butt department. There's always extra room in the butt of my jeans; unfortunately, there's not a small butt version of jeans that I can find. "Baby Got Back" was not written about me.

What I find more odd is how women are obsessed with guys' butts. I've been with lots of women who point out a guy with a good butt. I do not understand this at all. When I see a good-looking guy, I look at his face, maybe his overall body, smile, eyes...never once do I even look at his butt. What is the purpose of a good butt? Can someone please explain this to me? How can I have lived this long without such critical knowledge?

After this happened multiple times, I honestly did try to look at guys' butts. Even just to try to distinguish a good butt from a bad butt. I tried for about 5 minutes, and then I got completely bored or distracted by some guy's FACE, which is such an atrocity when there are butts to judge, right?

I don't even know what kind of butt my husband has. I remember Wendy said something about his butt in college. What was it? Maybe he didn't have a butt. I think that might have been it. I suppose people without butts are attracted to each other like people with butts are attracted to each other. Like that theory?

So if I keep climbing all these hills, I'll have a rock hard small butt. Is that any better than just a small butt?