Thursday, January 7, 2010

Serious but not cranky...for once

I have been toying with several blog posts in my head. I love to use my blog to rant because I certainly have passion about inane things I observe. I like to occasionally get a chuckle although I'm sure it doesn't work. I like to talk about finance and houses and saving money. But I don't do "serious" well. I do it well in real life, but I want my blog to be a mostly stream of consciousness thing vs. essays that have a well thought-out structure. Cuz if I wanted to write essays, I could just take an English class and go to town. And what fun would that be? Okay, maybe a lot, but I'm reserving more college classes for when I retire. When I retire, I'm going to move to a college town, get a lame-o job at the university, and take classes for minimal cost. S is coming too, but I doubt we'll ever take the same classes. We can meet at lunch, and I can drag him to dorm food. If you know me, you'll know that heaven for me is all-you-can-eat dorm food.

Oh, where was I? Serious blog posts.

I feel very bad for all of those couples who cannot have children or who miscarry. Someone I respect highly says all problems can be solved with time and/or money. Having a child isn't really one of those. Yes, costly fertility treatments or surrogacy might increase your odds, but I know there are people who haven't been successful despite the treatments. Adoption can be done, but if your desire is to have a child genetically related to you, that won't get you there.

If you really want a child, it's got to be painful to see children and pregnant women all the time. You can't even go to Target without seeing a mom pushing a cart with a giggly baby drooling and trying to eat his/her feet.

Let me be clear, I'm not in this group. This is not a veiled post saying I want another child and can't have one. I do not want another child right now (or ever, but people say I'll change my mind, so I'll leave a little shred of possibility after five years or so).

I'm just trying to acknowledge the fact that life isn't fair when biology works against your wishes. I feel like I can't say anything comforting. I haven't been through it, but I can certainly fathom what it must be like. It's got to be like being picked last for dodge ball in PE. You sit there thinking, "Why don't I get picked? Everyone else is being picked, and I would do a better job than they would anyway. When will I get picked? Will I EVER get picked?"

These are strong, rational people. They will be fine on the outside regardless of what happens. They will lead successful lives with good jobs, and they will be loved by many. But unless they are picked for dodgeball, a piece of them will always be missing.

It just sucks. Plain and simple.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

I totally agree. I have also saw first hand the down side of adoption when you don't know the child's background (even if you adopt as a baby) and sometimes that would be awful too.
It seems so unfair. Sometimes it's the ones who would be the BEST EVER parents too!
I got your card yesterday. She is such a freaking adorable child!!!! Thanks!