In-Law Suspense

I really like suspense.  I love reading scary books, I love watching scary movies, I love the anticipation that comes with wondering if something will happen or not.

However, I am not fond of in-law suspense.  It's the same darn suspense all the time.  Will they or won't they show?

S's parents can fly pretty cheap with his sister's flight benefits.  That's cool because we don't want to have to fly to them.  Been there, lived in a desert already, got that t-shirt, don't want another of that t-shirt, live happily in your desert and don't ever expect us to visit.  That's my policy on visiting deserts.  Plus if you can fly for $30 and are 2 people vs. us flying for $1,000 and having a toddler, it just makes more sense for you to come here.  And don't feel hurt that we're not visiting you because we haven't gone out of the state when work hasn't paid the tab in the last 5 years.

The downside to this arrangement is that we never know if or when they are coming.  See, the plan back in late October was that they would fly overseas to see S's sister and crew (the same ones that stayed at our house this summer), then on Christmas Day they would leave there and come here on Christmas Day since they are crossing the international date line.  They even had the audacity to say they would be on the 10am flight.  And they want us to have a huge family gathering at our house on Christmas Day.

I laughed when S told me this.  Because they are flying standby on freaking CHRISTMAS!  There's no way that plan is going to work.  And I'm not going to do a huge Christmas meal because in all likelihood they aren't going to make the flights.

So last week they call and say that the planes are looking full on Christmas now.  Well, DUH!  They go on to say that they're not sure when the flights are looking good to get out, so they may have to pay or use their miles to get out.  Ok.  And if they have to do that, they might as well go home instead of come here.

Huh?  Why can't you pay or use your miles to get here?  You'll be here for a few weeks, and then you can fly standby back to the desert.  Of course, they hate being questioned on their crazy ass plans and my husband is too nice anyway, so he just said, "Okay."

And they sent Christmas gifts from overseas that arrived a couple of days ago.  So I guess that means they aren't coming???

Given that Christmas is 10 days away, I want to know:

1. Will they be coming for Christmas?
2. If they are not coming for Christmas, will they be coming anytime in the December or January months?
3. Where in the heck do I send their Christmas gift if they aren't coming?

And the corollary to all this:
4. Why did you change your mind on coming up to see the 2 sons and the 3 grandkids?

Honestly it will be a whole less drama if they don't come.  There's a lot of moving pieces that will be affected if they come.  They aren't welcome up at S's brother's house because of crazy sister-in-law.  That means they stay at our house, but then they feel like they can't see S's brother and his kids.  So then we constantly get pressured to host favorite son and his kids every other day and have them stay over ...blah blah blah.  Plus S's parents can't drive a stick shift and we both work anyway, so they would be without a car or have to rent a car.  Sure, it would be great if they would see S and Julia.  We were both open that they could stay here, so if they have changed their mind for some other reason (i.e., favorite son feeling like we get all of the time when they are in the area), then so be it.  It's their choice.

Since we got mailed Christmas presents and have received the cautionary tale that they likely will just go straight home, I'm operating on the assumption that they aren't coming and won't be for several months.  It kind of sucks that they choose to not see both of their sons and their 3 grandkids, but that is their choice.  It's not mine.

And if this part of a manipulative and overbearing game on their part, I think we're fine saying, "okay, whatever."