The challenge origin is from here.
Today is eight fears.
1. Rats. I call this my irrational fear, like how some people (cough cough, husband) freak out over spiders. I don't "get" the spider fear. It's not like the spider can do anything to you. I put tigers and bears you meet in the forest in the legitimate fear pile. But spiders? No way. Rats? Yeah, they can bite you and infect you with the bubonic plague...in a .05% kind of way. But those little vermin freak me out irrationally. They are just nasty, and the thought of a rat ever being anywhere I may potentially sleep or eat or even walk creeps me out.
2. Causing someone or an animal injury or death. I am afraid of hitting a pedestrian when I drive, and I'm paranoid about running over someone's Fluffy even if Fluffy darts right in front of my car.
3. Puke. I hate puke, even the thought of puke.
4. Failure. I'm getting better about this, but I was so very paralyzed with fear of not being good enough for most of my childhood. Someday I'll blog about my pivotal moment when things changed, which wasn't that long ago. But old habits die hard, and I always think I'm 1) going to be fired, 2) I'm going to run out of money, 3) I'm going to be alone eating cat food for the rest of my life. The healthy coping mechanism that this fear has developed is back-up plans. I have a back-up plan to my current job, and then I have a back-up plan to my back-up plan, and perhaps a 3rd back-up plan too. Then there's the fourth back-up plan of opening my own business. And my back-up plan to my husband leaving me is, well, I gotta work on that back-up plan because as it is stands now, eating cat food alone is probably where I'd be headed.
I'm having a hard time gathering more fears. It's not that I'm not afraid of things (because I am), but most things are situational and I have faith that I'll get past them one way or the other. I will eventually die and however that happens is what happens. Oh well. I try not to be too cavalier, but you can't take everything so freaking seriously that you stop living in today. Here are some of the more common fears and my reaction to them:
5. Death. This I know will happen. I'm not quite sure about how it will happen, but I know the body subconsciously drowns out the pain if it's too extreme. I'm not quite sure what will happen after death, but my spirit will go somewhere. My body will become dust or mulch.
6. Heights. I think I could skydive. It really all is based on the speech I get while we're getting to the point of jumping out of the plane. If I'm with someone who has done this hundreds of times and I have verification that my parachute is working properly, I'd probably do it. I'm quite the thrill seeker. Now if you give me skydiving death stats that aren't particularly appealing as we fly, then I probably won't do it. But if the odds are good and you have a good speech, I'll totally skydive.
7. Me vs. Wild Animal in the Forest. I know I'm toast. I can't run THAT fast, I can't climb trees that fast, I'm screwed. I do walk around the woods by myself as it is, but there's not a huge chance of being cornered by a tiger in these parts. And then we go back to #5, which I'm not really that fearful of. Maybe this will change as the time gets closer.
8. Being famous. I don't want to be famous, I would fear losing all the privacy that I enjoy now. I like living in relative anonymity.
No comments:
Post a Comment