Saturday recap

Yesterday was long.  As in achingly long.  It was good, but it was definitely putting me out of my comfort zone in several ways. 

I began the day meeting the bride on our shopping jaunt.  Fashion isn't really my thing, as I've already said.  More than that, and I'll probably go into it more in my next entry, the bride and I have a dynamic that's fairly different than with most people I know.  We're good friends, and I know I'm her best friend aside from her fiance.  But she's not a very open person.  Neither am I in some ways although when I'm comfortable with someone, then I do come out of my shell some.  Based on how the bride is, I do tiptoe around her in a way that I don't want to offend her or risk anything. 

As I told my mom today, it's her wedding. It's her thing.  I get that, and I'm there to do whatever she asks and making sure that she knows I'm willing to help.  She has a vision for this thing that I can't necessarily understand, but, ya know, it's not my thing.  They are planning to elope on a boat and not have any family there.  It's their decision.

Back to yesterday.  The bride and I met at the mall.  She showed me the dress (in person, it's Sounders green) and a locket she wants to wear.  It's a thick gold chain with a big blue locket (darker royal blue).  I asked her what kind of shawl she wanted, and she said pink.  I'm imagining Sounders green, blue, pink and kinda feeling like this would be a color catastrophe.  Then I asked what she was thinking about as far as shoes go.  She was thinking Mary Janes.  Even though I have zero fashion sense, I know that Mary Janes with a halter dress just ain't gonna work. At this point, I was like, "Oh crap, this is going to be a long and frustrating day."

Bless Nordstroms.  Within one hour, ONE HOUR, the Nordstroms salespeople picked out her shoes (beige sandals with a slight heel) and a cream-colored shawl.  She insisted on the shawl, and if she's going to do a shawl, I think it's the best one possible.  I think the shoes are great too.  Plus, it was so freaking efficient. 

After the most efficient shopping trip ever, I suggested she get a makeover at one of the makeup counters to get some makeup ideas for the wedding.  My mascara is from 1998, but the bride doesn't even own mascara.  The makeover took a while.  Then we ate.  We went through a few stores. We talked. Since she has been so not forthcoming via e-mail about the wedding day plans (and you know me - the logistics tyrant), I was quizzing her in person on the wedding day. 

When I got home after that on Saturday, we had scheduled an impromptu visit with S's college friend (his ex-girlfriend's husband) and S's other college friend and her son.  I'm friends with them too, but I entered the scene in 1997/98, and they went back to 1993 in the dorms as freshmen and sophomores.  I wasn't part of the original clique, but I guess I got in with the spouse card after the fact. 

They stayed for about 7 hours.  It was kind of intense.  Sure, I'm used to people spewing to me, but I'm used to having some warm-up time.  The woman, in particular, is extremely open and one of those who doesn't hold back and is so up front that she takes me aback. 

As an example, several years ago, all of the old college friends met up at a restaurant.  We're all waiting our food and making the small talk (or so I thought).  This is when you say where you work, what you do, are you dating anyone, what city you live in and what type of place (apt, house, etc.).  The stuff you'd talk about if you hadn't seen someone in a few years.

So I had asked her, "Are you dating anyone?" 

I am not kidding you when she said almost verbatim, "I was seeing someone recently.  But he really violated my trust.  He said he was wearing a condom while we were having sex and then I found out he wasn't.  So after that, I just realized he wasn't the one for me."

This is when I cough into my water.  Because the answer you would tell people you hadn't seen in 3 years would be, "I'm recently out of a relationship."  Right?  Must we add TMI to that? 

Last night I should have expected TMI going into it.  I mean, I've received it several times from her before.  But no, I'm coughing into my water as she starts TMI'ing it up.  Then she gives a little speech that she hasn't had anyone to talk to since her son was born, and she realizes how much she misses talking with us, and it's been really great to share like that.  She shared.  He shared some.  S and I just listened and didn't really share because honestly I don't have a whole lot to share.  I share through blogging, but it's not a venue that I force people to come to.  And I'm not the type to spew personal fears and difficult stuff when I haven't seen you in YEARS.  Had we some correspondence other than e-mails here and there, I probably could.  But even then, all in all I don't have a lot of crazy stuff in my life.  The craziest is brother-in-law's drama, but last night they never even asked about us to allow us an opportunity to talk about it.  Hey, they thought the evening was cathartic, and they enjoyed the time.  Both S and I were looking at the clock when it became after midnight, thinking that it was time for them to go. 

So in conclusion, it was a good day and lots of catch up on friendships, but kind of exhausting.  And some wedding stuff got checked off the list.