I don't wanna (whine)

Every year the church moms do a retreat in August.  I've never gone.  Ann tried really hard to get me to go 2 years ago.  I have to give her props for that.  Thinking about going on a retreat with 30-40 women literally terrified me.  Shall we go over all the terror?

- Being stuck, yes STUCK, with 30-40 women for 2 whole days. 
- Listening to them yak non-stop for 2 whole days.
- Sharing a room or even a bed
- Sharing a bathroom (yes, I like my own bathroom)
- Carpooling there and back with 2-3 women.  By the time we got there, I'd want to come back home.
- Girl talk. Now I don't know what this would consist of, but honestly I don't want to know. 
- Crying.  I heard everyone cries.  Being around 30-40 women crying ... ugh... no freaking way. 
- Hot tub.  With women.  Hot tubs are for men and women, and even then I just think of all the germs.... 
- Meal planning and preparation.  Supposedly everyone helps with a meal or two.  I don't cook.  The vast majority of them (stay-at-home moms) are really good cooks.  I'm a lazy girl who would subsist on microwave popcorn if left to my own devices.  Hence, I'd have to suck it up and make a fancy dish and take it with me to the retreat.  That would create even more angst because I get self-conscious about my inability to cook.  However, I make some mean cookies.  :)
- I would not sleep at all.  If I am in a room with people I'm not used to (i.e., anyone but my husband), I'm just not going to sleep.
- I don't think rolling my eyes would be allowed.  How could I go 2 days without eye rolling when there's ample eye rolling fodder? 
- I already know I'm weird.  I don't want to feel weirder for being so different from everyone else. 

On the other hand, I know that I "should" go.  I know I need to put myself out there more with women and create lifelong bonds over crying and drinking wine in a hot tub...or something along those lines.  Apparently, as I've been told, drinking wine in the jacuzzi with my husband is NOT on the same level and NOT a proper substitute for a women's retreat.

If Ann can get me 10 Valium to get me through the weekend, I might consider it.  But drugs would have to be involved, and I'd have to be in a room with someone tolerable.