Monday, April 4, 2011

The Things We Ponder

Setting this to publish in advance...

Wifely good deed of the weekend: Realizing Netflix now has MI-5 Seasons 5 and 8 available for streaming.  Score, make hubby happy and free up the DVD queue for non-MI-5 stuff.

My Kevin Smith obsession still continues.  I watched Mallrats for the first time.  Did you know that J London wasn't all that good of an actor back in 1995?  I can't speak for his talents now, but he was really awful in Mallrats. 

Made a new playlist.  Instead of my typical frenzied rap and hip hop playlist, I went mellow.  I should call it My Depressed - Love Lost - Want to Shoot Myself playlist.  After listening to 5 or 6 of these songs in a row, I'm ready to pop some Prozac.  This must be how I justify listening to Naughty by Nature.  Naughty by Nature doesn't make me depressed.

We think S's cousin and his clingy girlfriend (Kate Gosselin wannabe) are having problems, as evidenced by the past three of her FB posts.  I would post her past three statuses here, but I'm afraid that Google would bring it up.  Soooo... I'm paraphrasing:

Kate Gosselin Wannabe is perfect and wants to shout that if you can't accept my whole perfect package, then walk away!

My favorite is comment is the "oh boy" from one of her guy friends.  I want to add, "Run, don't walk, boyfriend."  Yes, I don't like her. She's self-absorbed, narcissistic, demeaning, fakes power which she then abuses, materialistic...oh wait, she's exactly like Kate Gosselin but without the 8 kids.  Even if he does ditch her, I know he'll just find someone equally as distasteful to replace her since by all accounts his ex-wife was very similar to his current girlfriend.  It's not like his taste in women has improved over time or anything.

My husband often asks why more women aren't lesbians.  I always give him the scrunched-up nose thing when he says that.  WHY?  Most women are high-maintenance and annoying, I tell him.  Then he says that I'm low-maintenance and not annoying.  Ummm, well since I can't date myself, my options would then be high-maintenance and annoying women if I were lesbian.  And I'm not attracted to women.  I can't understand why more men aren't gay.  Seriously, why would anyone want to date women when you can deal with low-maintenance and not annoying men?

Such the things my husband and I ponder, like why more people aren't gay.  We're great advocates for our respective genders, aren't we?

Me: "Women suck. Why aren't more men gay?"
Husband: "Men are awful.  Why aren't more women lesbians?"

2 comments:

Wendy said...

How can you claim to be obsessed with Kevin Smith if you've only just watched Mallrats for the first time? For shame, Beth, for shame!

B said...

I know, it's shameful. I started out with Clerks several years ago. Then Zack and Miri a few months ago. Then all of his stand-up comedy specials...four of them, I think. And only now Mallrats. I don't think I will ever be desperate enough to watch Cop Out (the Bruce Willis one).