And now...a serious post

I don't like doing serious posts.  For someone who is serious 99.9% of the time in real life, I find it fun to write silly posts about my celebrity crushes, my numerous failed attempts to lose weight, those crazy curveballs that life throws you, and complaining about the idiocy of the world.  It's my little haven of being silly within the construct where you, the reader, fundamentally know who I am the other 99.9% of the time.  Do I know who I am?  Sometimes I think a blog reader here knows me better than I know myself some days.  Or maybe I like to keep myself hidden behind all of my silly entries, I dunno.

Along with consolidating my journals and blogs into one, I also told myself that I need to focus on more *real* entries...you know, that personal improvement crap mantra.   So this post will be one attempt at that, and for what it's worth I've spent an hour writing up to here.  Yep, I do the silly stuff a lot letter better than I do the serious stuff.

Julia's daycare was doing a parenting class for the past 8 Thursdays, which we signed up for.  I have been hearing about this parenting method for quite a while now, and I was intrigued.  Julia's teachers use it, I've seen them use it, and I've seen it work.  That was one reason I signed up.  Another reason was that the class was really affordable and included babysitting, so it was kind of 8 date nights (with other people, but hey you can't be picky when you have a toddler).  Another reason was that I have been itching to meet other parents and form friendships.  It seems like a lot of people that we knew in college or in our early working years have moved far, far away.  Those that haven't moved away are single or with someone but not married.  When you've been married for over 10 years and have a child, you are in a totally different place than someone who has been dating their partner for 6 months or less.  When we didn't have kids, we could overcome that difference.  But now the chasm is even bigger with us having a child.

S's brother and sister-in-law are only an hour away, but - ummmm - we have completely different values than they do.  Enough said on that.

I tried a few mom's groups when I was on maternity leave hoping to meet other couples with kids.  Julia was a colicky newborn, and my attention wasn't quite there to devote to forming friendships as much as I would have liked.  With the church group, I did meet some great people, but outside of 1 couple, we don't really interact much within the group (our own fault).  With the other community group, I got the vibe that everyone else felt their baby was a freaking genius -- you know the people who would gloat about how 'advanced' their baby was to all the other mothers.  A baby is a baby is a baby.  There's only so much I can take of the gloating and competitiveness before I snap.  Sorry, I hated that act when these people were in junior high and gloating about their new clothes & privileged lives.  And now they have children to carry on their aggravating personalities...sigh.  So let's just say I didn't meet anyone in that group.

What was great in this parenting class for the past eight weeks is that we met a few couples who live nearby and that we seem fairly compatible with and have kids the same age.  Score!  One couple seems about 5-10 years older than us, and the other couple seems a few years younger than us or our same age.  Score!  And BOTH couples have approached us about wanting to get together now that the parenting class is over.  Score!

In some ways, it feels like dating another couple, if that makes any sense.  What do we do for our first date?  Do we invite them here for dinner and a playdate?  Do we go out with just the adults and get a babysitter?  Should we ask to set a date now, or should we wait awhile (like after the holidays)?  Should we invite both couples or just one couple?  I was thinking a casual game night and pizza with both couples and all the kids might work well.  Or is that completely lame?

Sometimes I think I'm always going to be that wallflower who is too nervous to ever attempt anything for fear of rejection.  Dating was so much easier than this couple group stuff.  With dating, I could always tell a guy's interest level very accurately.  Now this couple friendship thing...it seems like a whole different ballgame trying to ensure your chemistry as a couple works with another couple well enough to carry on a friendship.  There's more people involved, more outside obligations, and (I feel) it's harder to know where you stand - either individually or as a couple.  Then, on top of all that, S and I tend to have a very different marriage than most.  We're not a stereotypical marriage, so not only are we quirky individually, we're even more quirky when put together. 

Ugh!!!  I suppose I need to stop analyzing it and just need to make an invitation, hoping to not get rejected by both couples.  (I hate rejection!)  If I got rejected, I'd go hide in the corner and cry.