The Power of Shutting Up

There is a dichotomy to me.  There is probably more than one dichotomy, but for now I can only see one.  That would be that I'm much more opinionated on here and in my online life than I am in my real life.  In my real life, I'm paranoid that I'm going to offend everyone, so I tend to not say a whole lot.  Hence, the title of this blog.

In my online life, I spew like there's no tomorrow.

In my real life, I am the true quiet one.  Unless you've known me long enough to be able to read me, you might think I don't even think.  That's okay, I don't mind.  The more you get to know me and if I like you, the more I will talk with you.  And you might even learn that I do think, albeit occasionally.  Being that I'm an awesome listener, you will likely talk about your problems or thoughts to me because of my reputation as not talking about anything with anyone.  And I will listen, and I will phrase suggestions subtly.  Occasionally people will be so bold as to ask for my opinions, and depending on how well I know them, I'll give them sterilized or unsterilized opinions.  It always makes me feel good when people at least think about what I tell them I see from my perspective, or if what I say causes them to reflect on themselves in some way.  I don't have all the answers, but I think I look at a problem with enough perspective to at least provide a little more insight than the loathsome and unhelpful, "Hang in there."  If I ever say that to you, it means you're so beyond hope in my book that I have given up on you.  But it's written in socially acceptable code that most people would never, ever pick up on...unless you really know me.

There comes a time when you feel that you've built up a rapport with someone, which may or may not be the case from the other person's perspective.  And the other person just doesn't get it what you're trying to impart.  At all.  Despite many attempts.  So instead of continuing to waste the energy, you just have to shut up and cover your eyes as the train wreck gets closer and closer.

Dealing with this issue as Julia grows older is going to suck.  I hate being forced to watch train wrecks.  I like preventing them.  But for some people that's the only way they'll learn.  Then there are others who don't even learn from their train wrecks.  I hope Julia is in the former group.