Everything

If you add up all the time I've been single and unattached since I was 15 years old, you come up with 4-6 months, depending on how you define single and unattached.  And those weren't 4-6 continuous months; it was more like 2 weeks here, 1 month there, that sort of thing.  Sheesh, that's not a lot of time.  I think I've earned a doctorate in serial monogamy at that rate.

One thing that I missed out on was dating.  I never really did the dating thing.  I always did the friend evolving into something more thing, so if you get technical, the last real date I had was back when this was popular: 

(By the way, did you know that my husband has a postcard handwritten by Claire Danes?)  Oh how I loved flannel.  I'm so jazzed that it's back in style.

Because I never got to experience the dating thing more than 2-3 times, I suppose I'm a little wistful about it.   It's probably just a grass is greener sort of thing; it sounds like so much FUN!  Meeting new people, seeing if you have chemistry with someone, the thrill of what is going to happen on your dates, seeing how it progresses, etc.

Right now I know quite a few single people, and I'm living vicariously through all of their experiences.  Their lives are so interesting.  I talk to them on a Monday, and they went out on one date.  By Thursday they've gone out with another person, and by Sunday they're steadily dating.  They experience more change in one week than I experience in, say, a decade.

The vast majority of them are actually quite discouraged about the whole process of dating.  Then there's me, trying to give encouragement and being about 200% more excited than they are about the process. 

After bantering with one of these people about unsuccessful attempts at dating, she said that I had 'everything.'  Well, I love my husband, and I love my daughter.  And I have a house and a car and a job.  But is that everything?  Apparently from her perspective, it is. 

From my perspective, I really like my life. I just missed out on the whole dating thing, and I relish hearing all about it.  It's not that I want to date anyone myself because I love my husband.  I just like to hear about other people's experiences.

When you get married, there's an aspect of your freedom that gets taken away.  For me, I didn't lose much freedom upon marriage.  My husband isn't one of those controlling types, so I still went out with friends whenever I wanted to once I was married.  Now that I have a child, a bit more freedom is gone.  Actually, a lot more freedom is gone.  Back in the day, we could take an impromptu weekend getaway.  Now we can't.  I can still go out, and my husband is willing to take father duty.  One problem with that is that I like going out WITH my husband.  But now it's more that if I go out, I leave the house without him at 8pm when my daughter goes to bed.  I roll home at midnight or 1am, and then it takes me a couple of hours to wind down.  I end up going to sleep at 3am, and then my daughter's up by 7am.  Since hubby was with her the previous night, I feel like I have to do the morning shift with her.  Back in the day, I could just sleep til noon or whenever the next day after going out.  Now it's not like I have that freedom, so it's just simpler to stay home.  95% of the time I don't mind.  Occasionally, though, it would be nice to get out of the house.   Or just take that impromptu weekend getaway with the husband. 

But from the single friend's perspective, I suppose I do have what she wants: devoted husband, stability, and all that.  So she can't see why I'm excited about her prospect of dating drudgery that seemingly results in dissatisfaction, and I can't understand why she thinks I have everything.