Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Creepy Man

On the heels of my anti-PDA post, I feel compelled to add that not only do I dislike being hugged in general, but I also really dislike being hugged by creepy men. 

There is a woman in my social circle.  She's relatively nice.  Her husband is, uh, weird.  And old(ish).  And he has always liked me.  As in, he hugs me, but he doesn't hug any of the other friends of his wife.  As in, he corners me when we're alone and gives me unsolicited hugs.  As in, I with a relatively high creepy tolerance get creeped out by him. Then he was taking pictures of me. 

Have I mentioned that he is weird?  And he smells like Paul.  I don't like eau de sweaty man.  I like eau de soap.  Not that I would appreciate the unsolicited hugs even if he smelled good.  But if you add in the sweaty smell on top of the other creepiness, I really need a shower after one of his hugs. 

The obvious solution when he leans in for his hug is to deny him.  As much as I claim to be cranky, I do try to go along with things and not make a public fuss.  Screaming and/or swatting him is making a public fuss. Or I could tell his wife, but that's just kind of weird. What woman wants to know that her significant other is lecherous?  And perhaps I'm making a big deal out  of nothing. I don't want to feed any paranoia on her part either.  I just want him to Stop. Touching. Me.     Do I touch him?  No.  I just expect the same consideration in return.

What I find funny about this whole thing is that he would HATE me if he really knew me.  He talks so freaking much TO me that he has never talked WITH me.  He thinks he knows everything about everything, and he's the type that likes to hear himself talk in perpetuity.  I just let him keep talking because I'm not going to argue with him.  What's the point in arguing with closed-minded people?  There just isn't any point in it.  I'd rather debate with someone who I think I have a better chance to get through to.  Him?  No way, he's still stuck in 1950.  He believes women should stay at home and be subservient, men have all the answers, he's a staunch Republican, and he doesn't even comprehend the rhetoric he spouts. 

Verbatim example.  He is over at our house and comments on how big it is.  Another guy says, "Yeah, I'd have to get a cleaning crew if I lived here."  Creepy Man says, "You married the cleaning crew."  Oh really?  He's a gem, I tell ya.  If only they cloned him, then we wouldn't have overpopulation concerns anymore.

If he and I were set up on a blind date (assuming we were both single), I would have claimed food poisoning before the main dish.

1 comment:

Ann said...

LMAO! Thanks for the laugh today!