I've been married going on 10 years now. I live in my isolated little vacuum of a world where I go to work, go to the grocery store, and amble about my neighborhood on walks a few nights a week. I haven't been to a bar in years.
Today at the grocery store a man comes up to me as I'm looking at chicken. "I know you!" Stunned, because no one ever recognizes me even if they've seen me a hundred times, I look at him. I KNOW I've never seen this dude before. I don't forget a face, and the only places I inhabit are mentioned in the above paragraph. Believe me, I don't get out. So I smile and say, "I don't recognize you offhand."
Then he says, "I do know you from somewhere." Pause. "Are you married?"
Now I must admit that I'm off in my little world a lot, and I have been out of the dating scene for almost a decade, but it even sunk through my bewildered brain. I was getting hit on!
And I look, errrrrrrr, down at the dude since he's short. And he has a big earring in his ear. It's about a 1 carat...something...likely cubic zirconia...I don't think it was a real diamond.
So not my type.
If someone's going to hit on me, can't it be a guy who would come sort of close to someone who I'd actually date?
I don't get hit on much. I don't know what par is for a married woman. I probably only get an unsolicited male offer once a year or so nowadays. I think it's kind of low. Back in the day, when I rode public transportation, I got hit on quite a bit. I was younger, skinnier, cuter, not married. That's all true. But it's also true that if you're a female riding public transportation and are less than 400 pounds, have your front teeth, and aren't sitting in a pile of your own poop... you're going to get hit on at least once a week. It's a simple fact. I just report the facts.
I've never been hit on by anyone "good." It was never my thing to strike up a conversation with some random person in public and then go out on a date with him. What if he was nuts? I wouldn't find that out til I was alone with him. I have to do a background check on him before I even consider a date.
I have had my share of "winners" that have hit on me. S loves to hear about them. Personally, I think it makes him feel better about himself.
- There was the mentally unstable, halfway house dude on the bus. That was a year long adventure in avoidance since he rode the same bus as me to the community college.
- There was Paul. Long story, but he attempted to strangle me at Decatur High School and was expelled for pulling a knife on me. Another crazy dude.
- There was the homeless guy in DC. Granted, I didn't have a coat and didn't realize the subway was closed until 6am. He offered to "keep me warm"...how kind.
- There was the dude who just got out of the Walla Walla prison for armed robbery. I was out with a friend, and he wouldn't leave me alone. Gotta give him props for being honest about his situation.
- Random drug addicted men who try to strike up a conversation over the years.
- And now the dude at Winco who was such the mack daddy with the faux bling in his ear and around his neck.
If someone is going to hit on me, why can't it be a "normal" person? Ah, probably because the "normal" ones don't try to strike up a conversation with a married lady. Gotcha.
Probably the best of the bunch was when I was out walking at lunchtime, and a guy who was running (I assume he was on his lunch hour) stopped next to me and asked me out for a mocha. I promptly told him I was married, and he said it was worth asking, and then jogged away. He seemed kinda normal for someone who would ask out a complete stranger. Could have been Ted Bundy 2.0, I suppose.
So how often do married women get hit on? I have no idea what is average.