Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Indie Movies

I really like indie movies. They are kind of like an episode of Dawson's Creek: lots of sighing, brooding and subtext. As much as I love indie movies, I rarely 'get' them. They're usually thought-provoking, though. I'm not sure if the things they provoke in me are the things they are supposed to be provoking. It was interesting nonetheless to watch an indie movie tonight after packing. Tonight's selection was 'Cake Eaters.' It was made in 2006 and featured Kristen Stewart and some other folks who I didn't recognize. It had themes of guilt, regret, and I never figured out Kristen's storyline and how that fit the theme of guilt and regret. Maybe she didn't live her life with guilt and regret while everyone around her did? Hmmm...maybe that was it.

Packing done for the night. Today was the first day in a while where I didn't feel like I needed a Xanax IV drip. I'll take that Xanax drip if anyone is giving them away just in case for tomorrow and the next day.

As much as I make fun of myself about my overly anxious personality, I've never taken anything for it. My confession is that I am deathly afraid of all medications stronger than Tylenol. Yeah, that might have something to do with being anxious and worried about what will happen to me if I take it. :)

I think I have a very addictive personality, and the main reason I don't drink much - if at all - is that I feel like I'll become an alcoholic if I ever have more than 2 drinks. And I think that if I ever actually filled a Percocet prescription, I would become a raging pill popper. As it is, I bought a bottle of 50 Tylenol caplets in April, and I'm worried because I only have 10 left. Of course hubby uses that bottle too. So 40 caplets gone in 9 months with 2 people using it & I'm ready to sign myself up for Tylenol Users Anonymous.

I wish I trusted myself more.

1 comment:

Ryan, Corrie, and Max said...

Hmmmm.... very interesting thoughs, m'dear. I think it's okay to have a healthy fear of becoming addicted to something. But I think there is a happy medium- not paranoid, but not all easy breezy.

And... I'm really tired, so I'm probably starting to not make a whole lot of sense....