Social Media Frustration

I try not to be paranoid, but I hate when I have evidence that I should be paranoid.

What is up with Facebook privacy settings? 

Scenario: Friend, who has the setting that only friends can see his profile, posts a link.  I comment on the link.  And then my freaking father-in-law comments after me, and he is not friends with my other friend, and my friend is set up as "friends only" can see his wall and pics and stuff.  WHY could my father-in-law see my comment on someone else's stuff and the link someone else posted?  My husband can see the link/my comment too if he digs around on my wall although he can't see my friend's profile or wall.  I've gone through each setting, and I don't see a way to suppress it.  Sure, I know that if they are mutual friends and I comment on something, mutual friends can and will see.  But how can my other friends see comments I make to their non-friends?  That's frightening.

In the autumn I went on a delete binge.   Something similar happened, and I got nervous and maybe slightly paranoid.  I over-deleted, but it's kind of lame to de-friend people and then friend them back.  That's happened to me a few times, and on the receiving end it's kinda like...ummm, is this some kind of mind game?  That's what I want to say, but usually I just accept them because maybe they think I forgot we used to be friends.

As long as I'm complaining about Facebook, let me add an honest to goodness almost exact (sorry, some bleeping will occur) FB status of a friend today:

Socially Inappropriate Friend "I'm a good manager and f$%& this job and f$%& the $%&holes that I work for."

However, she said the real words.  Otherwise, exact quote. 

More and more I think I need two separate accounts.  See, the problem is:

Personally I am liberal, and I work with very liberal people.  Most of the people I know personally are liberal, or they are at least accepting enough to not start bashing people who have a different viewpoint (or they at least do it respectfully).  My husband's family is hard core Republican who will personally assault people who don't agree with them. It comes down to people who I can be myself around vs. people I can't be myself around.  Then I thought I should cleverly assign people to groups and be able to pick the group that can see particular things.

But if hard core Republican father-in-law can see my work friends' links and my comments to them, then making two groups won't solve the problem.

And by the way, I had limited the access he and others had to my stuff...until he figured it out.

If I made a second profile, then the second profile will come up under the "People You May Know" tool for the people I don't want to be friends with.  Though there's got to be a way to not advertise your profile.  But still...I would worry that Profile 2 would come up as a friend suggestion for the people I don't want to be friends with.

Argh!!!   So I end up having to delete people I didn't want to delete months ago, and I don't feel like I can comment on anything because it's safe to assume that anyone can see anything.  

____________ is signing off for the night in complete frustration with social media.