Thursday, January 6, 2011

Work Parties

I find work holiday parties interesting.  Mainly my husband's.  As far as holiday parties go, my work holiday parties are tame.  We typically go to a nice restaurant and have a white elephant exchange.  It's perfect.  I work for a non-profit and I'm really not into parties anyway, so it's cool.  Feed me a meal, don't make me try too hard on the gift, and I'm happy. 

My husband, on the other hand, always has "interesting" work holiday parties.  Back in the day, the Roaring Late 90s and very early 2000s, he worked for a company that was bought out by Mother Merrill.  ML was incidentally my first employer.  If there's one thing that the brokerage firm ML was (pre-BOA takeover) it was classy.  They oozed success and confidence.  His work holiday parties were very ML.  One holiday party was in the top floor of a Seattle skyscraper, beautiful decor, fed wonderful food and alcohol, awesome prizes (not that we ever win, but the potential to win a cruise or a getaway or a big ass TV was always luring).  Another time it was at a design studio, and the same concept applied.  You dress up, expect to be wined and dined, and it doesn't disappoint.  After all, it's ML. 

Then he started his new job in 2003.  Granted, any work holiday party would feel like a letdown after ML.  ML's culture was all about impressing.  I see through that, it's not really my thing in day-to-day life.  However, one night a year of being treated like a princess is kind of nice. 

The culture at his current work is very, very different from ML.  He's in finance at his current work, but the place is more industrial.  A different sort of person works with machines at his current work instead of working with people's money and benefits like at ML.  It's really a whole different ballgame entirely.

At the ML parties, the worst things you observed were drunk people acting like idiots.  At his current work holiday parties, it's a whole different source of things that make you go hmmm.  I am thankful he has a job, and it's great that they put on holiday parties that include spouses.  I'm not trying to be ungrateful.  It's just the ML to current job difference in parties is quite apparent. 

- A few years ago the party was at a hotel, which was great.  I saw my first pimp ever in real life at the party.  Pink suit, pink hat, surrounded by many women.  He had to be a pimp.  You don't see dudes in pink suits walking around with a horde of women often, do you?  My first ever pimp sighting was at his work holiday party.  Awesome.  They had a surprise casino theme that night, which was cool.  You got fake money to play with and they had set up several different tables.  The dinner was actually nice.  They made us wait til the very end to give out prizes...errr...prize.  There was one grand prize at the end of the night instead of prizes throughout.  So I'm thinking to myself what could be the grand prize...a trip, a computer, a video game system, a TV???  Guess what it ended up being?  A $25 gift card to Red Robin.  Seriously?  That's the ONLY prize of the night?  Obviously there had to be some budget issues involving the party, but still...seriously lame, especially when you build it up all night talking about the "grand prize." 

- His holiday parties are always in January.  You know, a month after everyone else's holiday party.  If they must be in January, can't you say it's a New Year party or something?

- The 2009 party was at a racetrack nearby.  I'm not a gambler, and horseracing definitely isn't my thing.  Oh well, it's a free meal.  That one was weird because they had a huge amount of red and green desserts.  Thanks for serving 2-3 week old leftovers.  Really appreciate that. 

- 2006 or 2007 or 2008 was a rodeo theme.  We didn't go to that one.  They advertised it as having a mechanical bull.  Seriously?  You know how I tease myself about my white trashiness, but that really was too much.  I don't want to see my husband's co-workers ride a mechanical bull.   I protested that the mechanical bull was too white trashy even for me. 

- 2010 was at the casino.  Yes, they love gambling themes at his work.  And I am a complete casino snob.  I lived in Vegas, baby.  Vegas does casinos well.   After you've spent oodles of time in the fanciest casinos in the world, the casino down the street that reeks of smoke and has really pathetic entertainment does nothing for me.  I'm also an amusement park snob.  So, yeah, I've lived here almost 20 years and still haven't stepped into our version of an amusement park or our version of a casino.  Well, 2010 I actually stepped into the casino for the first time.  Casinos, sans the flashiness of Vegas, are really pathetic places to me.  We went though.  Hey, it's a free meal.  We got seated at the manufacturing table, which was fine.  Until the dude next to me (my age) had very, very few teeth.  He was telling the table that he didn't like the food (your choice of steak, chicken, fish with the standard mashed potatoes and veggies).  Turns out he eats every meal at a fast food restaurant and he does NOT eat any fruit or vegetables, which might explain the teeth problem.  He didn't know what the asparagus was on his plate.  Then he and the rest of the table had asparagus eating dares, something that would happen in a cafeteria at a junior high.  It was very apparent why he was single...  The casino + asparagus table was a little too much for me.  Again, it's a free meal, and I shouldn't complain.

-Could we have only gone to three of his parties?  I can't remember more than that.  Maybe if we did go to others they weren't noteworthy. 

- This year is a cruise around the bay.  I'm stocked because it's not a gambling theme for once.  I'm kinda hesitant because 1) we'll be stuck on a boat without an escape and 2) it's been COLD here.  Freezing cold.  So you're putting us on a boat when it's 30 degrees out?  I am actually fairly cold tolerant, but even I am thinking the wind chill factor is going to be hideous and we'll all be icicles on the deck or stuck inside without any real view.  It does seem like it should be more of a summer thing, and even then it can be really cold here.  Oh well, we'll see how it goes.  And I'll be definitely reporting any 2011 holiday party weirdness.  Maybe it will beat the pimp sighting and the toothless dude. 

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