Sense of Foreboding

Does anyone else routinely wear jeans to bed?  At least twice a week I fall asleep wearing jeans.  I'm not sure whether it's due to laziness or not caring.  There is a difference between laziness and not caring, right?  I like to think I'm just one of those who doesn't care about what I'm wearing while I sleep as long as nothing is pinching me.  But maybe I'm just lazy.  The habit started in college when I had the weird roommate who gave me a curfew, so I chose to sleep anywhere but my room.  Almost every night I slept in my jeans back then.   

I must say it's easier to sleep in jeans than my new footies.  See, darling M got me cupcake footies for Christmas.  They are as charming as they sound.  The thing is that they have this velcro flap in the back.  I'm not sure if the flap is supposed to be cute, or functional, or just plain fun for a sodomist.  Since I can't see it, the flap isn't very cute.  I've been wearing footies all my life, so by now the routine of pulling down the zipper to pee is well established.  So it's not very functional for me either.  I do move quite a bit when I sleep, I'm quite a contortionist.  Well, sometime around 2:43am (this may or may not be a true story), I hear a rrrrrrrrrrip and feel an ample breeze on my buttocks.  I wake up with a jerk because I think I just broke my pants or perhaps there's a serial sodomist in bed with me...you see, my mind can be a bit overactive.  Then I realize that I contorted the wrong way and the velcro let go.  I've got to sew that flap shut.  Seriously.  So you see why I don't mind, or maybe even prefer, to wear jeans to sleep.  It makes the serial sodomist's job a bit more difficult.  You can also probably infer that I rarely sleep naked. 

I watched both versions of The Last House on the Left.  The original 1972 and the 2009 version.  That may have made me a bit more paranoid than usual.  I'm actually not all that paranoid, except when I sleep.  If I could, I'd sleep with The Club on me.  You know, that red piece of metal that you find on the steering wheels of 1982 Buicks in the library parking lot. 

Being that I'm slightly more paranoid than usual, I have to say that I have a feeling that this is going to be a sucky year.  Someone's going to die or get sick or endure some other awful calamity.  I don't get these feelings of foreboding often, so when I do get them, I know they are indicative of something that will happen.  When I get these feelings, I just want to stay cloistered in the house to help prevent whatever calamity from happening.  However, it's not that simple given that I, you know, work and have to leave the house from time to time. 

Here's to hoping that I'm wrong!