Eating clean this month isn't going so well. It went well for 3 days, and then ... one day there was a party, and then my friend wanted me to sample her new baked goods the next, and then I had a lollipop, and then there was a sale on mini tacos at Costco (which aren't too bad since it's a corn tortilla, chicken, but then there's cheese...), and then my husband made my favorite foods on Mothers' Day. And then, and then. There's always some excuse. There will always be an excuse. I need to make the right decisions despite the obstacles.
I commit to recording all the food I eat on Wednesday. Albeit all that has gone on, I think my eating has slightly improved over what it was even a few months ago.
Over the past week and a half, which coincides with when I started derailing, I've felt a bit rattled. For the past few years, especially since being a mother, I realized just how non-mainstream I am. If there's a national tragedy (e.g., Newtown), most of the mothers I know get up in arms and outraged. I calmly calculate the odds and realize that it was a statistical anomaly. I realize how much stupid crap is done for the benefit of parents instead of the benefit of students. For instance, those dance recitals that feature 3-year olds. It's all for the parents. I don't want my daughter to participate so that she can have a photo op or so I can brag to family and friends. In fact, I don't want my daughter to be involved in it at all. There's also the stupidity of p r e s c h o o l graduation. That is some stupid shidizzle. What 4-5 year old WON'T go on to kindergarten? Why must we put on a freaking graduation from circle time? Do they do a graduation ceremony every year nowadays? This is akin to the trophy for just participating. What entitled little kids society is raising!
I am mean. I don't think you should get a trophy for just participating. I don't think you should have a stupid graduation ceremony for 4-5 year olds. I don't think toddlers should have to perform in a recital.
But you know what? I am in the very slim minority of those I know with kids who think this way. Fortunately, my husband's reaction is very similar to mine. And fortunately he likes how I view these things. With everyone else, though, I find it isolating. I am the sole "it's stupid to do this to feed our own egos" in the room with other people who are advocating for everyone to get a trophy for just existing. I fear. I'm not sure what I fear more: 1) that I will always feel this isolated or 2) that I will think like the majority at some point. Reframing would probably help. I'm looking at the downside of being a minority and a majority. On the other hand, there are advantages to being in either group. Reframe, I need to reframe.