Why I don't wear white shirts

Quite a while ago I found 3 white shirts on clearance. The tight white t-shirt type that go with skirts or jeans, and they are easy to layer with a light sweater. I bought 3 since they were like $4 each. And then I proceeded to ruin all 3 of them with various stains. Mostly food stains, but then throw in some pen stains, grease stains, smudge marks from who knows what, etc. Maybe one became gray in the washer. Soon they became only appropriate to wear under certain sweaters that hid the stains. Now they are all out of commission.

Then I put myself under a ban of buying white shirts. Even at a bargain basement price of $4, they are more grief than a blessing.

Now I decided that I need some more white shirts. Why? I have no freaking idea. Sure, they're a good basic piece of clothing to have...I suppose...in theory.

Today I wore my new white shirt ($7.67...damn you, inflation!). Here are today's thoughts about my shirt.

1. I always wear a black or royal blue bra. Why? I have no idea. Today I put on a royal blue bra, put on my new shirt, realized why white shirts don't go with dark bras, took off my shirt, took off my bra, scrounged up a white bra.... blah, what a waste of time. And I'm in an inferior color of bra just because it's kind of trashy to wear a dark bra under a white shirt.

2. I had an orange juice accident this morning. I freeze orange juice in little containers, and I had a klutzy moment (kind of par for me) where the orange juice container did a double flip, landed upside down and had cracked. I had picked it up, not knowing there was a crack, and it leaked out onto my sparkly new white shirt.

3. Go to bathroom to clean out stain.

4. Get to work. Eat a nectarine. Get nectarine juice on my white shirt. Swear.

5. Repeat #3 from above.

6. Eat chicken teriyaki. There's teriyaki sauce splatter on my white shirt. Swear twice.

7. Repeat #3 from above.

8. I look like I'm in a wet t-shirt contest (at work!) (but at least I have on a white bra!).

It is not even 1pm. I've had THREE stains on my white shirt on the first day I've ever worn it.

I really think black is my color.