Friday, April 6, 2012

Being Too Whiny Even for Myself

Good evening. I was so exhausted tonight upon coming home. Actually, I started out the day not so well. Really tired, usually understandable if I'm up from 2am - 6am for three nights in a row, but I had slept okay-ish this week. I crashed tonight by 6:30pm, I think. And I woke up at 9pm, which is a set-up for being up from 9pm - 3am and then getting 3 hours of sleep and then get up to set up for an Easter egg hunt at J's school (i.e., not starting out the weekend all).

I've posted before about how no one else seems to be blogging anymore. I follow tons (or 50) blogs, and the only posts I ever see anymore are from the commercial ones about coupons. There's one I used to follow because she used to be interesting, but then she decided to change it to a "pictures I think are pretty" blog. Her prerogative and all.

If you look at MY blogging frequency on the left, you'll even notice how far I've dipped over the last few years. Almost daily in 2009 to maybe every three days now. 

However, in the past week or so, some people picked back up after taking a break from blogging (like 2), I found a few more steadier personal blogs, and all seems slightly better in blogland.  Whew, maybe it isn't dead after all!

In other general whiny news, I feel fat. I had done so well with my "Lenten vow" (as my Jewish friend calls it), and then 2 weeks ago I fell apart. Then I was all "starting April 1st I'm getting back in the saddle." Then April 1st came, and I was still a mess. Then I stuffed plastic Easter eggs with Reese's. Dear God, it's like asking a cocaine addict to stuff cocaine eggs. One for me, one for an egg, one for me, one for an egg... Then my friend gave me a whole plate of sugar cookies today (decorated and oh so cute!), which I ate. Then there was a 3 lb bag of tortilla chips from Costco that I mostly ate. That was earlier in the week, and I justified THAT because it wasn't sugar. Then there was enchilada fest last Saturday....

To sum up, I feel fat.

On the bright side, I exercised for 3 hours this week. But 3 hours of exercise doesn't negate my sinning.

I don't want to step on the scale. Because I know every pound I lost in the previous 2.5 months is back on.

Will someone send me to the Biggest Loser ranch. Please????  I know I don't qualify because I'm not 450 lbs or anything. That doesn't mean that those of us who are only slightly overweight don't have problems because, let's face it, I do have emotional eating issues. When I get sad, I eat. When I get angry, I eat. When I get nervous, I eat. I do it to feel better. It temporarily helps me feel better, but then it all catches up to me, and then I get in the "I feel fat" funk.

And what can I do about that? Not eat crap and eat normal portion sizes! It's an amazing, breakthrough idea, isn't it?

Going out for a walk, maybe burn a bite of sugar cookie off or something. :-)


Wendy said...

I exercise 5-6 hours a week consistently and the scale doesn't budge. That tells me it's something I'm eating. Rather than change my eating habits, I'm scheduled to do a 3 week session of laser lipolysis in May. I have finally admitted defeat.

B said...

I should have realized that you were being serious!

Wendy said...

Of course I'm serious! I gave myself a year to get in good physical condition and over the past year, I've lost 10 lbs, 3 inches oddly waist and 1 inch off each thigh. Now, I just want some spot treatment... Totally vanity but I've accepted my shallowness. ;)

B said...

10 lbs when you're already thin is awesome! I think you're married to the wrong kind of specialist. Soon you'll be ready for your Real Housewives debut.

You're not shallow, you're goal-oriented. :)