Tuesday, November 15, 2011


My current goal: To obtain a "free" turkey

Why "free"?  Well, it's not really free - as in, no quotes.  A free turkey would imply that it is free without any strings. I don't think that is possible. The next best possibility is a "free" turkey; whereas, you spend an obscene amount of money (like $150), and you get a "free" turkey.  But of course I don't want to spend $150 on random crap because that negates the "free" aspect of the turkey. If I spend $50 more on useless stuff or stuff that I can find cheaper elsewhere so that I can get the "free" turkey, it really becomes a $50 turkey.

Holiday angst is beginning, all with the "free" turkey. Then there's the Black Friday sales, which I treat as a series of battles. I am not a shopper who lingers on Black Friday, or anytime actually. I am a get in - get the stuff - and check out in the garden section because everyone else is checking out in ladies' fashions. Ha! The garden department is desolate AND staffed, suckers! On to the next store and repeat, about 4x. Come home, eat Thanksgiving leftovers (second time of the day since I had Thanksgiving leftovers before I left the house at 3am), and then go through my loot.

Still working on my Black Friday battle plan.

My work is closed December 21st through January 2nd. Doesn't it seem like S's parents were just here? Well, anyway, we were told they were coming December 14 - 18th, going up north from December 18th - 22nd, and then coming back here on December 22nd - January 4th.  Oh yay, I'm on my work vacation almost the exact same time they will be here.  2-3 weeks of staring at each other, all day every day.  Lest I sound unenthusiastic, I am happy to see them, but I don't think I'd be ecstatic to stay with anyone in the same house for that long, even Will Smith.  Plus, it's going to be cold here, so they are going to be whining about how COLD it is in our house and in general. Which my only response will be, "Then go somewhere warmer."  Because, you see, I don't deal well with whining about things you can change. You chose to come here for 3 weeks in December (heaven knows why), and you need to deal with the ramifications of that or don't come here in December.

I am stymied why they are supposedly only staying 4 days with their older son and 3 weeks with us. It doesn't make any sense, especially since their older son is clearly their favorite. I can only surmise that there's not enough room up in his house. Which means, oh dear god, every dang day they will 1) complain about the weather and 2) put us in a corner about inviting favorite son down to our house. Which my response will be, duh - "If you want to see him, go up to his house. Otherwise, shut up."  Okay, I will try to start out more polite but by the 20th day they are in our house and I'm completely running out of patience, I'm sure that will be my verbatim response.

Are you sure it's not to late to go to Hawaii for the holiday vacation? It may put us in the poorhouse, but at least it might be a vacation, which the latter half of December will NOT be for me as it stands right now. Julia and her grandparents will bond, S and his parents will bond...that is the chant I must repeat. I will be lamenting that I can't go to work.  It's all good, happy holidays and all!


Wendy said...

I admire your ability to brave the shops on Black Friday. I hate crowds so much that they negate any savings that I would get. I think I would pay MORE to be able to not deal with the crowds...

Quietly Subversive said...

I'm usually home by 9am. It's not too bad. I stay away from the really crazy stores like Toys R Us and Best Buy.

Nowadays you can get comparable deals on Cyber Monday anyway. I'm just old school. :)