Dread

I have a huge amount of dread for the tail end of June and early July. My lovely husband’s family will be descending onto our house. They are good people, but let’s just say 10 extra people in one house (grand total of 13 people) is a bit MUCH. Or am I hallucinating and that’s not that many people? The 10 extra people seem to think it’s not a big deal, so perhaps I am the one who is misinformed.

Here are the things I know about the visit:

My mother-in-law will take over our kitchen.

My father-in-law will watch Fox News compulsively and yell at the TV about politics.

There will be 4-6 extra kids in the house (only 1 of which is a girl), and they WILL wrestle and play video games.

The relatives from overseas (who live in a tropical climate) will complain about how COLD it is, and so will S’s parents, who live in AZ. I refuse to turn on the heat in late June and early July just on principle. Get a dang blanket and quit your bitchin’, or you can go to a hotel and put on the heat there.

Utilities for 13 people? How much garbage will we all produce? That’s a whole lot of water.

Why in the WORLD MUST I take off the first week in July to be home with all of them? Work is my sanity during all this, and making me stay home is horrible, horrible punishment for doing a good job. Work is closed for that week.

I am so happy that I’m an only child & my side of the family doesn’t do this.

My mother-in-law’s world will continue to revolve around her eldest son.

Even though the tropical climate batch of relatives asked to stay with us, there is no way you can say “no.”

A studio apartment is looking really, really appealing.

For any of you who say having 10 extra people stay with you isn’t that bad, I’m taking that as you’re volunteering to take some or all of them. Let’s see how fast you return them.

Gifts of Valium and Xanax kindly accepted.