Wednesday, September 11, 2013


I have been blogging since early 2007. I find it a fairly easy way to reflect and express myself without the tedium of writing by hand. Even more than I enjoy blogging, I really like keeping up with people. I’ve followed people over the years who blogged when blogging was cool and then dropped it when they moved onto the next fad. I have followed specialized blogs that follow my interests. I’ve followed some that I can’t recall by what path I got to them (some were very winding paths).

Of all of them, I really enjoy those people that I have gotten to know over the years: the consistent bloggers who have really showed themselves. Some of the specialized/business blogs have been consistent but haven’t been as deep. I desire to really get to know people—what makes them tick, what they value, what experiences they have had that have made them the people they are. The main deficit of the specialized/business blogs is that it’s usually hard to get to know the author beyond a superficial level. I find that frustrating because I want to go a few layers deeper than I’m being shown. 

I have a different blogging perspective than most. I don’t really want people to go to my blog who don’t want to go or who only go because they feel obligated to. I tend not to comment much on other people’s blogs because I don’t want them to feel obligated to read mine. I’m not interesting. And I’d feel stressed if I thought people were waiting for me to have something interesting to say. I like the absence of pressure and obligation as it has been and is now. And when someone I know asks me for my blog address if the subject ever comes up, I try to steer them away. I like my un-interesting corner of the internet that I can do whatever I want.

It's surprising how well you can know a person over several years of reading their blog. If it is a blogger that reveals more than the superficial, you can probably know more about that person than even a good friend.

A few years ago I started reading someone's blog. I came across it by way of a winding path that I can't recall. I enjoyed the writer and the self-disclosure. After a few months, something seemed off. One small thing didn't corroborate with something that was said previously. Because I'm a freak of nature and remember even the tiniest details, something jostled in me and then I went back through the archives and said, "Aha!" when I found the contradiction. I kept reading the blogger, but I put the writer in the category of being a novelty. Don't get emotionally invested or even care about anything this person writes because something is not right. So I kept on for the entertainment value (and I couldn't figure out how to un-follow someone). As time went on, my initial assessment remained. I didn't look for inconsistencies anymore because my faith had already dissipated. When I'm continually told that 4 + 4 = 7 when I know it's 8, I just tell myself "yeah yeah yeah" and go on believing what I believe even if someone keeps saying that it's 7.

After a few years of steady blogging, a month or two ago the blogger has finally confessed that there was a Great Deception that has been going on for a few years. The readers are shocked but supportive. So supportive. I am amazed by how supportive people who have been lied to for years can be. I'm not necessarily shocked because I figured things out a long time ago (and everyone else might be in that camp with me). I'm not necessarily supportive, other than I think it's good that the weight of the deception is off the blogger's mind. That had to be difficult for the person to keep up the charade, and now there must be some more inner peace.

Sometimes I wish I was less cynical and more supportive. The downside is that I would have to be more vulnerable to pull that off. I hate feeling vulnerable.


Jesse said...

In an article about social network a few years back, I remember reading about a deception that was common on LJ back in its heyday. (When was that, anyway? I feel like its golden age was over by the time I started my blog.) Someone with a terminal illness would start a blog and gain supporters, who would watch as the person wasted away, then finally died. Then, at some point later, the author would come back to reveal that it was all a ploy for attention, and that they were actually in perfect health.

I guess it just goes to show that no matter how well we might "think" we know each other, we never really do. Unless you know the person through other means, like Facebook, everyone could always turn out to be lying, or at the very least not showing a true representation of themselves. It's cool that you can detect hints of their deception even if they're not trying to reveal it.

B said...

I think the LJ heyday was 2002-2007. Yikes, I can't imagine someone faking a terminal illness! Sounds like it would be just tempting karma.

I find it interesting to know what people share via different methods. I know I do; I go through a flowchart in my head before I decide what method.

Do we ever really show a true representation of ourselves?