Monday, January 30, 2012


On Sunday I went shopping with 3 women. OMG, I know, you're in shock! How did I survive it? Apparently next time I need to take mega doses of Tylenol before I go because I did have a raging headache afterward.

Aside from the headache, it was okay. Definitely not something I have the stamina for on a regular basis, but it didn't go quite as awfully as I had thought.

5 hours of shopping in a mall in a group of 4 women. LOTS of body discussions. They tried to get me to buy this very cute black leather jacket. I have to admit that it did look pretty good, but I really don't give off the biker chick vibe and it was $150. Maybe I would give off the biker chick vibe if I wore the black leather jacket + the black leather pants I have + spiky black boots I have...maybe.  But, really, black leather pants seem like a recipe for disaster...

I suppose my dilemma on this shopping adventure is that I really have different clothes shopping criteria. First: Is it in my budget? If not, then eliminate from consideration. Second: Does it fit in theory? (I rarely try things on.) Third: Buy if it fulfills the previous two criteria, bonus points if it's made of fleece.

Their shopping criteria seemed to be different than mine. First: Does it make your boobs and/or butt look cute? Second: If you can find any way to afford it, buy it.

I don't really dress up. Take a shower, brush hair, put on comfortable clothes that meet the minimum dress criteria for the occasion, put on lip gloss if I'm feeling feisty. Tada - 15 minutes to get ready including shower. No guy has ever complained about my no-fuss ritual although I have to say that a guy who appreciates a girl who dolls herself up would never ever be interested in me because that's just NOT my personality.

I went shopping with 2 women who do doll themselves up - full face of makeup every day, fancy purses, accessories, 100 shoe options, dress up to go shopping. Let's just say I felt out of place because I violated every one of their cardinal rules.

I quizzed my friend who is, let's just say, high maintenance in the preparations. It probably takes her an hour and a half to get ready every day. I asked her why she does all of that (the makeup, the accessories, the fancy purse, etc.). She said it made her feel good. I acknowledged that, and then followed up with WHY did it make her feel good. Then she said I was being too deep and changed the subject.

It's a serious question. Do you do it because it makes you feel more confident? Do you do it for the attention from men? Do you do it for some other gratification? It matters if it's internally or externally motivated. The why really does matter.

I have found these "why" questions far easier with men. I know the misconception is that men don't ever talk about deep things, and women want to talk about esoteric things like feelings and motivations. But in practice I've found the opposite to be quite true.

There's nothing like plopping down on a chair and asking a guy, "So what's going on?" Within an hour, you can find out So. Much. Stuff. Not just facts, but you can talk about feelings and motivations and aspirations. At least I usually can.

Do that with a girl, and you will have an hour long conversation about liquid vs. powder foundation. I don't know about you, but I do not find that a fulfilling conversation. So yeah, women DO talk more, but I haven't found the majority of it to be less significant discussions than you can have with men.

Yesterday, though, I did come away with what a "good" butt looks like. I have been wondering about that for quite a while, and now I am better at butt analysis on people based on objective butt criteria. Since butts do nothing for me, I don't really subjectively care about the issue.

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