Saturday, August 9, 2014

Embracing my introverted ways

I've always known what personality was desired in a person. People wanted to be around extroverts--those people that could thrive in any setting with people, who could get anyone to laugh and go along with their ideas. When I took those career tests, I knew the correct answer was "I prefer groups of people" over "I prefer being by myself."

You might say there is no correct answer. Then you haven't seen the results to those tests. An extrovert gets a whole list of possible careers, and the introverts get a short list of logger, mathematician, coal miner.

There is a correct answer. I could talk myself into the correct answers on a good day. After all, I really enjoy talking with people and meeting new people. Just one-on-one versus an overwhelming party with loud music where you can't hear anyone and have a real conversation. After I got my real estate license, I thought about becoming a real estate agent. It's actually an interesting job where you mainly work one-on-one and my psychology degree would come in handy. When they gave me the personality test, I knew I had to up my extrovert quotient. That combined with my excellent contract reading and writing skills & math skills, I was a shoo-in. Alas, I didn't end up pursuing it because my day job is too time-consuming.

During the summers, I have more time off. I could take more time off during the school year, but the nature of my job is that more than a day off during the school year is hard to swing. Usually I take the summer to reconnect with friends that I don't see as much during the school year.

This year...nah. I've basically been a recluse. That might be a tad dramatic. Maybe it's only a semi-recluse. I've spent my time off blueberry picking, grocery shopping, reading, doing yardwork, binge watching shows on Netflix--all activities I do by myself.

Last weekend we were invited to a barbecue on Saturday and going out on a yacht on Sunday. Eh, I passed on both, which I know was stupid because how many times do you get invited to go out on a yacht??? I preferred just staying home.

So, yeah, I'm embracing my introverted ways lately. I'm not even trying to fake it this summer.


jojo cucina cucina said...

I, for one, do not like being around extroverts! They are tiring, don't you think? And I believe there is a narcissism that goes along with extrovert behavior and i hate being around that. Maybe because it reminds me of my mother who really loves attention.

The more attention you want from me, the less I am inclined to oblige.

Sometimes i think you are my twin Beth! Even though I can be social and mingle with folks and speak out when i am not in agreement, I too am an introvert. Introverts are not necessarily totally shy or quiet.

I totally get why you would rather stay home that venture on a yacht too! First off, who is on the yacht and what kind of people would they be? What do i have in common with folks who love yachting? I would be thinking of all these things if invited.

When i take those tests online and it asks would you rather spend time hanging out in a bookstore or a library by yourself and going to a big party, i always opt for the library.

Maybe having attended three high schools is what made me comfortable being a loner. Nearly all of my hobbies are loner hobbies: flyfishing, reading, cooking, running, sewing, writing, watching TV, blogging. So i totally relate!

I prefer spending time with small groups of friends, like we had at my house for dinner a month ago instead of parties. At parties, other than my family parties, i am often sitting with someone talking one on one, (usually someone who feels the same way as i do about parties.)

I sometimes feel guilty that i am not bored by spending time alone. I also like doing what you do - binge watching Netflix or channel surfing, reading, walking, running and getting irritated if the phone rings and someone wants me to do something.

I can see where a real estate license would be congruent to an introverted personality. I used to think being an editor for a publishing company would be great, only you have to read a lot of crap in between good stuff. Or an accountant, but numbers would bore even me after awhile. Being a union secretary did work for me because i wasn't asked to be on many teams. I just had to take the minutes.

I used to HATE going to the associate staff retreats so much and finally quit going. Overnight work retreats are brutal for introverts, even if you are guaranteed your own room. I always felt fake at them if i tried to intermingle.

One summer i spent so much time at home that i had this great idea of taking unusual photos of my house and turning them into postcards. I would shoot a photo of my unmade bed in the the right kind of light so it looked cool, or a photo of a dinner i made or a patio shot of my outside lights. Then i was going to mail these postcards to my friends as my 'vacation' shots. I still might do it, but this year i seem to be taking a lot of little trips away from home.

I like introverts much better than extroverts. I suspect many others do, even those who are not introverts. For one thing, we're better listeners. And we're not competitive by nature. And we're well read too! hahahaha.

B said...

I wouldn't go as far to say extroverts are narcissists. I've meant plenty of narcissists that are introverts!

Yes, good questions that you ask yourself before going into a social situation. I try not to be like my former sister-in-law who thought she was always in this special group that no one could relate to because she was so much smarter/wittier/_____er than everyone else and none of the common folk would understand her. I really don't want to be stuck-up like that.

I just find it all so very draining. Even if I had the opportunity to do something/meet someone I would really want to, I take note of my energy level and am reticent to commit to it, particularly if it involves being "on."