Sunday, August 11, 2013

Getting back on track

July was a difficult month food-wise. My in-laws were staying with us, and there were treats constantly around. I have a hard time saying no to such things, but I think it was more that I was so on edge while they were here that I reached for food to make me feel better, even if it is temporarily.

After being married 13 years and working for the same organization for almost as long, my in-laws STILL do not know where I work or what I do. 13 YEARS! They tell me that I should move wherever my husband gets a job; I can get a job anywhere. (Let's ignore the part that I earn more and have the health benefits for us.) Apparently, they think I'm a typist, and that's it. Thank goodness my husband doesn't think I'm just a typist. He thinks we should make any career/moving decisions together.
The message I hear from the in-laws: My job is not important. Eat a piece of cheesecake.

The in-laws made comments about how they think we should parent our child. They think we're hard on our daughter. For instance, we were at a restaurant together, and my daughter ordered orange juice. She took one sip and said she didn't want it. They wanted to get her apple juice, but I said no. If she doesn't want her oj, she can have water. My intent in that parenting decision is not to be mean. My intent is to show her that you have to think about decisions carefully, and once you make your choice, you need to follow through. They don't understand our parenting philosophy.
The message I hear from the in-laws: We don't know how to parent our child. Eat a bowl of ice cream.

Two big aspects of my self-worth--my job and being a parent--were shaken a bit in July. Although I know with all my heart that I like my job and understand the bigger picture as I'm raising my child, I feel like I'm not good enough to be a "proper" wife and mother in their eyes. That makes me sad. It makes me slightly angry.

I've felt so much better since they left. I feel back to normal. I still have a few residue pounds to work off, but I feel more like "me" now. And I feel slightly more disciplined, like I can get those pounds off with a laser focus on getting back to where I was physically before they arrived.

Feeling energetic and hopeful. :)


Wendy said...

My husband just outearned me in 2011... Now I get crap for continuing to work instead of just staying home and having more kids. Grrr. My parents and ILs also knock our parenting, saying that we're meanies. I just work out harder when they're around...

B said...

Working out harder = better coping mechanism than eating constantly.

Come on, stay home and keep popping out babies! Can you imagine???? And then you couldn't even do your CrossFit insane workout schedule because you'd always be pregnant.

However, I know one brave woman with a super colicky baby that turned into a kid with sensory issues and she decided to have a second, and her second was a dream baby.

Wendy said...

Don't care if other people have angels for 2nd children. Not going to sway me one bit.

Working out harder allows me to eat constantly. :)