I don't understand much in this world, but I really, really, really don't understand my own body.
June has pretty much been a bust health-wise so far. We had family in town, two parties, I was experimenting with a strawberry cake and cupcakes and then strawberry cream cheese frosting from scratch (i.e., lots of tasting). I have been eating crap on top of crap. I have exercised some but not as much as usual.
I try to weigh myself once a week. Keep myself on track but not be crazy obsessive about it. Believe me, I CAN be crazy obsessive and I often AM crazy obsessive. But about weight? I don't really see the point in getting too wrapped up in it, unless you're morbidly obese and need to lose quickly for health reasons.
So I get on the scale this morning with lots of trepidation. It's like when I'd go to Catholic reconciliation back in grade school, and the nun would tell you to confess your sins and I had SO many sins to confess that I was paralyzed in fear about where to start and if I started to list them all, I'd surely accidentally miss at least 5. And then was it a sin to forget your sins??? Cue need for Xanax.
I started to silently list all of my sins of the past week, realizing that I was in for a 3 pound gain. I mentally calculated what would be a realistic weight after eating probably 3,000 calories per day for 4 days in a row and then 2,200 calories per day for the next 3 days. Yeah, a 3 pound gain was realistic.
And then...the scale tells me that I have a 2 pound LOSS. I'm so confused that I can't even process it. How does that math work? Or is my body just behind? Is the loss really from several weeks ago when I was good: having clean days, working out for 45 minutes+ per day? Is it water weight? Will the 2-3 pounds I should have gained show up next week or the week after?
I'm so confused.