Honey, let's sing along with Christian pop

Sometimes I can be...overcritical. You're thinking, "Duh." I do know I can be overcritical, but sometimes I like to think I merely have high standards.

I had to go to the dentist last week. I don't mind the dentist in theory. Of all of my orifices, my mouth is the orifice that I'm least reticent about being prodded with metal.  :-)  You're supposed to chuckle. Thank you, even if the chuckle was delayed.

I have had many dentist woes in the past few years. Not as in the procedures, but the people. I just can't find a place that I want to be my mouth-prodding place of choice.

My old dentist retired, and I chose that time to switch dentists.

1. First dentist was a pushy just-out-of-dental-school dentist who didn't speak English well. She talked really fast, and I had not a clue what she was saying. The hygienist, the one who does the cleanings, seemed good, but the dentist gave me a headache.

2. Second dentist had the TVs and massage chairs while you got a cleaning. Sweet. The hygienist was good. But the dentist didn't seem all that competent. Maybe I've read too much true crime, but I kind of got the impression that something wasn't quite right with him. Too slick...cross a marketing major with a used car salesman and give him a dental degree. He didn't catch the things that the first dentist saw (some old fillings needed to be replaced). I decided to try out a new dentist.

3. I'm on my third dentist. He does seem competent. Very competent. BUT... it's the hygienist and the environment that I don't like. I can't stand the religious music station playing. A dentist office is a public place; don't play religious music in public places. Play all the religious music you want in your home, not your work (unless you work at a church). Employees at the dentist office hum and sing along with the religious music, which drives me batty. Unless you are a professional singer, do not sing in my ear, especially to religious music that sounds like a cross between country music and Christian pop. The dentist, while competent, calls everyone "honey." Drives. Me. Batty. After the tenth time, I want to scream. However, this is usually after an hour of someone singing along to Christian country/pop music, which has already made me a tad homicidal.

I don't like the hygienists there. 1) Singing along to Christian music in your ear. 2) They do things in the wrong order. Everyone knows (right?) that the tartar scraping is supposed to happen before the polishing. Polishing before the tartar scraping means that you don't leave all freshly polished; it means you leave freshly scraped (i.e., kind of bloody-tasting). Because the hygienist did it again this time, I asked why. She basically said there's less scraping to do if you do polishing first. So you're...lazy....thanks for letting me know. 3) They ask me which church I go to.  4) This time was a really lackluster dental cleaning. They were running behind and the hygienist was trying to make up some time, so I ended up with a 20 minute cleaning (time-saving polish first just like last time, a very lackluster scraping, and a quick fluoride treatment).

I was dreading this dental experience because last time was so religion-laden and patronizing with the "honey." My husband recommended taking along headphones to avoid the religious talk, religious music, and honey" this time. Since I didn't want to subject anyone to my awful rap and 80s music, I didn't have the volume on that high and could still hear the annoying singing and "honeys." And of course they chatter at you even if you have headphones in. I realized that I'm going to change dentists...again. I want a non-lazy dental hygienist; I don't want to be subjected to religious music in a public place, and I detest being called "honey" repeatedly.

Plus I put all of this on the comment card last time, and they didn't change any of it. Call me overcritical.