Thursday, March 1, 2012

Still waiting for that phone to ring

Do you know that saying about men who say they're going to call and then they never call?

I never really understood that saying. In my little world growing up, I interacted regularly with the vast majority of the guys I dated and/or hung out with. It's not like I was old enough to go to bars and meet random people, and this was before internet dating and even cell phones. I saw these guys in class or at work or in the dorm. It was never like "I'll call you to set up something for this weekend" was even relevant. I'd see him in class on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and have ample opportunity to make plans in person. Or see him in the dorm, often multiple times a day. If I did trade phone numbers with a guy, I either had to deal with my mother intercepting calls from him or in college it was a roommate(s) who would always be on the phone/not give me messages. It was just easier to do this stuff in person. 

If I was seeing a guy, I never really had a problem with them saying they'll call/do something/go somewhere but not following up. For the most part, they did what they said they were going to do. I just don't have a lot of patience for people who are all talk and are lax about following up. Because if you say you'll do a small thing and don't, then that seems a sign that you might not follow through on big things ("I'll pay the mortgage" --> never pay and then your credit rating is tanked). It would be a person far more tolerant than me to take a person who is known for empty promises seriously.

Now the tide has changed, and I'm starting to understand the saying more. Of course, it's not relevant in the dating context for me. I'm learning about this saying from family members.

My uncle is someone I call about a once a year. He always says that he was JUST going to call me that very second when I call him. Uh huh, sure, tell me another one. We proceed to talk for half an hour, and then before we get off the phone, he says, "I'll call you next week!" Uh huh, sure...  Of course he doesn't call the next week, or any of the next 52 weeks, and then I call him the next year. Repeat paragraph. 

Then there's S's brother. S called him last week to see if he could come visit with the boys on Sunday. He said he'd call Saturday night to let us know. We sit and wait. No call on Saturday night. No call on Sunday. Still no call as of now. His record for keeping in contact is about as good as my uncle's, so I'm not holding my breath to hear from him anytime soon.

 Meanwhile, I will take comfort in the fact that I've never had to deal with the "I'll call you but never call" types when I was dating. It would so drive me batty.

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